But wait! There's more.....

I am almost embarrassed to admit this.....but N is an As Seen on TV product junkie.

I am ashamed because it goes against my standing on how the majority of things on TV is garbage, a conspiracy, or really just a bunch of negativity. I don't want to waste what little time I have on watching "crap" and I certainly don't want to fill my kids' head with it either. They get enough of that in this world.

OK, so I not going to lie........we do watch some TV in our home....in fact, I pay the little bit extra to get all the Discovery Channels and Green Channel lineups. I won't go on my tangent on how ridiculously expensive cable is, though. I have suggested to Josh that we lose it for a few months to eliminate it from our budget....but he had that "deer staring into headlights" look before I could finish my explanation. I guess football season isn't the time to make such an insane request.

If I was only granted one TV show to watch.....of course it would be LOST. Hands down. If you don't watch it......I encourage you to start from Season One and don't be surprised if you start marathons with your eyes hanging out of your head because it is addicting. But you really have to start it from the beginning or you won't appreciate how awesome and intricate this show is. The writers are brilliant.......and the cast is phenomenal. (ain't too hard on the eyes, either!)

JJ Abrams (writer) has a newer series that we have been watching......Fringe. It kinda is like that old series X-files meets CSI. Josh is definitely more into following it (he likes sci-fi), I usually fall asleep and ask about how it ended in the morning.

I do have a few other shows that I enjoy and try to catch them when I can (and you gotta love the DVR). I have a small list of shows that I have set to record as a series, such as Oprah and Ellen. Josh questions me why I have them record everyday and then I end up deleting 90% of them (without watching them) at the end of the week when I scan through "my list". It's because I never ever am in front of the TV in the afternoon.....but I seem to always run into someone who says, "hey, did you see that Oprah show on *insert such and such a subject/person that I am interested in*? Now, I have my bases covered. I tape (man, I gotta get into the current lingo here) record Ellen because I think she is pretty funny and will watch a show if there is an actor/person that I like scheduled to be on.

As far as other shows.....I like stupid humor like Scrubs, The Office and The New Adventures of Old Christine.....I still enjoy watching the reruns of Friends and Seinfeld.

I am wicked at Wheel of Fortune. I could totally rake in some serious cash if I went on that show.....and I will boast that I can answer about15% of the questions in the first round of Jeopardy too.

I am not a fan of reality shows.....mainly because they are really not reality. People KNOW (and are getting paid) that they are on TV, come on! I have watched a few seasons of Survivor, but once you've seen one......you've seen them all. Just different people, different place. *snore

Lili is determined to get us on The Amazing Race. I've caught an episode or two, but I don't watch it. But Lili swears we would be great on it and is planning on submitting an application. I can see it now......the tag line for us will be The Two Middle Age Hippie Jesus Freaks with almost a dozen kids between them. She has already declared that she will eat the gross things and I will do the physical challenges. great.

OH, so back to the "But Wait!.....there's more reference" (this ADD is killin me)


So on the random occasions that N has on "regular" TV (meaning the channels with commercials) she is exposed to the random commercials for those obnoxious products. You know....the ones with the horrible acting and the flashing phone numbers on the screen. She gets sucked into their sales pitches and truly believes that she needs these items as they suggest she does. Not only does she believe that these are necessities......she has the sales pitch memorized. (can you say mind control? LOL)
Here is a typical conversation

N: Mom, we need those Aqua Globes.
Me: Really, why?
N: Because you'll never have to worry about over or under watering your plants again.
Me: (worrying more that she sounds like a robot).....hmmmmmmm, well we really only have cactus here and they thrive on neglect.
N: What is neglect?
Me: well.......it's like when you ignore something and don't take care of it.
N: EXACTLY why you NEED these Aqua Globes......you just fill em up and let them do the work.
Me: yikes.
N: and if you act now, mom......they will send you 4 of them for only $15.99. You get blue, green, red and multi color.....oh, you have to pay for shipping and handling, whatever that is.

Another incident that should have tipped me off was sometime last year....it was early morning and I was getting the boys ready for school. N woke up early, so I put on the TV in my room to keep her occupied. H happened to go in my room for something and came out and came to get me. He said that he heard N on the phone. All he heard was, "Man, this guy asks lots of questions". So I walked into my room and asked her who she was talking to. She gave me the
"hold on a minute" gesture with one finger up (ugh, a mini me). I looked over at the TV and noticed that it was paused, thanks to the DVR, on the commercial for those remote controlled helicopters, Air Hogs. She timed it perfectly to display the toll free number.....which she called and was navigating her way through the prompts.

Thankfully, she didn't have my debit card in her other hand.

*sigh*

So yes......I am the victim of living with a walking/talking infomercial.....I am reminded how I need that Buxton Bag pocketbook when I can't find my keys......or Mighty Putty when something in the house needs fixing. When we do our occasional spa night (baths, manicures and pedicures as a little girl night).....she constantly recommends that disgusting Ped Egg. (I think I had a little stomach acid come up in my throat thinking about that gadget, sorry TMI)

And then, again yesterday morning.......N woke up and walked over the the couch. She curled up into a ball and commented on how cold it was in the house. (we keep our house pretty cold.....I've mentioned on how Josh is anti-oil and is determined to use as little as possible....so yeah, we walk around in a couple layers of sweatshirts all day). I suggested she put on a sweatshirt because she was only wearing a thin pair of jammies.
She picks up her head from the little ball she's curled into and says.......*this* is why we need a Snuggie.
OK, I don't know if you've seen this ridiculous product they have advertised.....The name makes my skin crawl to begin with......the SNUGGIE??? They couldn't think of a better name for it? It is basically this butt ugly fleece blanket that has arm holes. They show people of all ages using this thing, even as ridiculous as at a football game...and basically inform you that you can do amazing things with the Snuggie......like enjoy a snack, use the remote.....talk on the phone!

Seriously people....

OK, For your viewing pleasure.....in honor of N....I will leave you a chance to get your own Snuggie. Don't forget to order now for that special bonus book-light that they offer on TV that retails for $15 even though I've seen it at Job Lot for 99 cents.

The Snuggie



yikes.
~*Michelle*~