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Phony Bologna

Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

I love that.....

Oh, before I dive into these thoughts about being phony.....I really would like to know who the heck came up with the spelling for bologna? Do you know how many times I tried to spell it until it looked "right" only to still find out it was incorrect? It still doesn't look right to me, but dictionary.com tells me it is, so be it.

OK....on to the phony.

So I am many things.....

completely unorganized
a little loud/out spoken at times
competitive (in a healthy board game way)
sometimes lazy
sometimes selfish
sometimes judgmental
(.......I am sure there is more.....just don't want to scare you all away)

but one thing I am not......is phony.

Sometimes, being 99.99999999% real is not always a good thing, but I do not know any other way to be. I just have to say it as it is or say nothing at all (which is very hard for me). People know they can ask me my honest opinion and I will tell them the truth. I will also tell a friend if they have a boogie hanging or something in their teeth. I am good like that.

Of course I try to be polite/kind and use my judgment. I would probably refrain from asking/commenting about a big pimple on a friend's nose that has an inch of make-up on it...... or the recent setback in their life that might have caused it. I am learning that some things are better when left unsaid.

I grew up in a home with the "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist" mindset. It was learned at a young age that you do not tell anyone of the alcoholism or financial disasters. You were also taught to just say what people wanted to hear as to not cause any waves. We had the picture perfect appearance of the All-American family with two children, a family dog, a nice home with two cars in the driveway. Our house was always immaculate because if everything looked perfect and organized, this would reflect how our family/life really was. My mom would dust/vacuum before the cleaning lady would come on Saturdays. God forbid they came to a dusty home when we were paying them to clean it? Point is.....we painted a nice facade. It was phony and I hated it.

I could go on about how the reality of our home/my childhood was nothing like it appeared, but I'll save that for another therapy session post.

So, I think that is why I embrace the freedom of being who I am. I had to stifle it for the most part for the first half of my life. Now, I know I am not perfect......far from it. But you know what? I like me. I may babble and yap away with TMI (too much information) with random people or be in a constant state of chaos, always searching for something I misplaced. I can get a little overboard with my strong opinions on certain hot topics. I may screw up some Bible references when trying to support my beliefs and sound like an idiot sometime.

But I am who I am and I know where my heart is.

And the reason I like me, is because I discovered and learned that God loves me for who I am. After all, He created me. And our God appreciates honesty and keeping it real. He is going to meet us right where we are, He does not wait until we act a certain way or say a certain thing to convince Him otherwise.

I also want to teach my children to be who they are. To accept and love themselves the way God created them. To believe in themselves and to always stand up to what they believe in.....no matter what others think. Be true to themselves so they never have an issue with forgetting who they pretend to be. Judy Garland once said "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else"

So I will continue to keep it as real as I can......and hope that my honesty does not offend anyone. I want to do my best to demonstrate my character and behavior as a follower of Christ. I want my actions and words to reflect Him as best as I can. I know there are people who don't like the fact that I talk about God and my faith alot.

And that is OK......I'd rather be disliked for who I am, then liked for someone I am not. (didn't someone say that quote somewhere? Sounds familiar as I type it.....I just like to give credit, yk?)

You might have seen this video (or a version of it) I saw this posted on Facebook yesterday, some say it isn't a true story, some say it's cheesy......I really could care less.....

even if it is "fake"......the message is real.

Be well......and keep it real today! :)

Peace and love~


Billy Coffey said...

Who's better than Dr. Seuss? No one. I'm with you on the whole bologna thing, too. Baloney looks so much better.

As far as being phony, I can't think of a time when that's not a good thing.

Daveda said...

okay, some the things you listed about your self, could be me :)

I am with you on the phony thing. Just be who you are, and learn to like yourself. I always figure that if I wait until I am perfect to like me, or anyone else for that matter, I will forever be waiting. Are there things that need to change about me, sure, but thats what Jesus came for, He accepts me as I am, while loving me enough to not let me stay the same.

I really enjoyed this post. I am glad that you like you...I like me too :)

Joey said...

Thanks for sharing your faith. Life is hard, unexplainable sometimes, full of loved ones and ones that hate you....I simple just have to find peace for the moment. I what I say and say what I feel, it hurts sometimes, but it hurts worse to leave it in. Searching for the balance in life as I say good bye to some, and hello to others

Heart2Heart said...


I think the older we get the more we can appreciate what true honesty really means. We don't hide and we can be completely open about certain aspects of our lives.

I live my faith open, like the book that it is. People have a choice to read it and stay or chose to go someplace else. Either way, I love who I am on the inside, it's the outside that could use some work.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Mich said...

I saw this video too...powerful message.

Great post my friend!

jason said...

Your transparency is awesome. :)

chili pepper said...

I love that quote.

We are Italian...we have no secrets. My husband's family is like that...hush, hush, hush and talk behind everyone's back...it drives me crazy!

Kim said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE your opening quote.

I am who I am.

As more and more 'real' people have recently found out about my blog, I struggled with the thought that the person they think that I am, and the person I geniunely am, would not add up. (And of course, I am not implying that you are not real. By 'real' I mean people that actually KNOW me. Shudder)

Finally, I came to the same conclusion as Dr. Seuss.

That being said, there are times I feel that my life looks a little better from the outside looking in, than it does from the inside looking out- and that scares me.

I never want my children to believe that I ever did less than my best. But, boy oh boy, many times I do just that.

I desperately want to have it together....at times I think I do....and then there are times, many times, that I only do the best I can. My 'best' is not what I want it to be.

All I can do is keep trying....

Angela said...

What an awesome post!!

Daveda said...

LOL, Michelle, I just read your comment over at my blog and I have to say it made me laugh! I did give a sarcastic "thank you" but the ugly thing would of been great.

The thing is I haven't even gained a few pounds since he last saw me! I really think he was just being a jerk! Oh well, some people are just ugly, inside and out LOL

Sailor said...

yay! I like this :-)

Beth in NC said...

Great post Michelle! I love visiting blogs of REAL people. I think I had a somewhat similar childhood. My Mom would clean and clean then apologize to our guests for our house being such a mess (ha).

I'm glad you're real girl!

E @ Scottsville said...

Wow, what timing. I sent a word of encouragement to a "used to be" friend this week because I knew she needed it. And rather than accepting the encouragement, she lashed back that I was a phony. Kinda shocked me. I'm a lot of things, but I do NOT believe "phony" is one of them!

But ya know what? I had to tell myself that I was convicted to reach out, I did what I was told by God to do, and that was all "my job" was. How it was received is out of my hands. Obedience was all I had to do.

Karen said...

Gotta love that Dr. Seuss!

(BTW, I think the Italians are responsible for that whole bologna thing. Weirdos!)

I love this post. I can't stand phoniness either. And living in Orange County, California, I am surrounded by it. Everywhere I turn there are people driving fancy cars, living in expensive homes, and financing these lifestyles they are "supposed to" have rather than what they can actually afford. It's pretty sad, really.

I'd rather drive my 12-yr-old car with the crack in the windshield and know that it's totally paid for, than spend every last cent of credit driving something fancy just to please the neighbors.

wife.mom.nurse said...

Good for you, it is refreshing to read this post. I am enjoying your blog. :)

Sarah Joy said...

Hi Michelle, I just read your comment on Brandi's blog about musicals. I just saw The Lion King in Vegas in July ... you will LOVE it! It is amazing. The costumes are fantastic, the sets are wonderful, it's just an awesome show!

Haven't read this post yet ... bookmarking to come back to. :)

Sassy Granny ... said...

There are a few words that come to mind as I read your post: authentic, intentional and transparent. It's how we grow intimate with others, and even with ourselves. No shortcuts will do!

I'll let the politicians and entertainers wear the poker faces any day.

Be blessed,

Martha said...

Yet another reason why I adore you my dear!!

Balony... that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!!

P.S. I am totally stealing your layout when I am sick of mine and you're sick of yours :D capiche?!?

christy rose said...

I so so so so so so so so so like you so so so so so so much! :)

Becca~TimeWellSpent said...

Love that by Dr. Seuss! Also really love this post. Being honest about who we are with not only ourselves but our friends and most importantly to God is important. I think too that the more honest and open we are with our relationship with the Lord the gentler we are with out words and actions to those around us and they see the Lord working in our lives.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Very true. You will be found out eventually, so why put up the charade? It must be exhausting for those who must.



Joey said...

Hey, I have a video for you and your husband to watch. I know that you will be blessed by it. Watch it on my new post. Blessings.

FaithBarista Bonnie said...

I grew up in a home with the "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist" mindset... So, that is why I keep it as real as I can"

You took the words right outta my mouth. So true for me, too.

It's like I went the opposite way of what my mom did. And yes, the story behind that is another post!

Thanks for sharing, Michelle!

natalee said...

come to my blog you have an award waiting..hugs

Denise said...

Amen, amen. I am who I am.


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