Phony Bologna

Be who you are and say what you feel,
because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss

I love that.....

Oh, before I dive into these thoughts about being phony.....I really would like to know who the heck came up with the spelling for bologna? Do you know how many times I tried to spell it until it looked "right" only to still find out it was incorrect? It still doesn't look right to me, but dictionary.com tells me it is, so be it.

OK....on to the phony.

So I am many things.....

completely unorganized
scatter-brain
controlling
a little loud/out spoken at times
competitive (in a healthy board game way)
sometimes lazy
impatient
sometimes selfish
sometimes judgmental
OCD
(.......I am sure there is more.....just don't want to scare you all away)

but one thing I am not......is phony.

Sometimes, being 99.99999999% real is not always a good thing, but I do not know any other way to be. I just have to say it as it is or say nothing at all (which is very hard for me). People know they can ask me my honest opinion and I will tell them the truth. I will also tell a friend if they have a boogie hanging or something in their teeth. I am good like that.

Of course I try to be polite/kind and use my judgment. I would probably refrain from asking/commenting about a big pimple on a friend's nose that has an inch of make-up on it...... or the recent setback in their life that might have caused it. I am learning that some things are better when left unsaid.

I grew up in a home with the "If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist" mindset. It was learned at a young age that you do not tell anyone of the alcoholism or financial disasters. You were also taught to just say what people wanted to hear as to not cause any waves. We had the picture perfect appearance of the All-American family with two children, a family dog, a nice home with two cars in the driveway. Our house was always immaculate because if everything looked perfect and organized, this would reflect how our family/life really was. My mom would dust/vacuum before the cleaning lady would come on Saturdays. God forbid they came to a dusty home when we were paying them to clean it? Point is.....we painted a nice facade. It was phony and I hated it.

I could go on about how the reality of our home/my childhood was nothing like it appeared, but I'll save that for another therapy session post.

So, I think that is why I embrace the freedom of being who I am. I had to stifle it for the most part for the first half of my life. Now, I know I am not perfect......far from it. But you know what? I like me. I may babble and yap away with TMI (too much information) with random people or be in a constant state of chaos, always searching for something I misplaced. I can get a little overboard with my strong opinions on certain hot topics. I may screw up some Bible references when trying to support my beliefs and sound like an idiot sometime.

But I am who I am and I know where my heart is.

And the reason I like me, is because I discovered and learned that God loves me for who I am. After all, He created me. And our God appreciates honesty and keeping it real. He is going to meet us right where we are, He does not wait until we act a certain way or say a certain thing to convince Him otherwise.

I also want to teach my children to be who they are. To accept and love themselves the way God created them. To believe in themselves and to always stand up to what they believe in.....no matter what others think. Be true to themselves so they never have an issue with forgetting who they pretend to be. Judy Garland once said "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else"

So I will continue to keep it as real as I can......and hope that my honesty does not offend anyone. I want to do my best to demonstrate my character and behavior as a follower of Christ. I want my actions and words to reflect Him as best as I can. I know there are people who don't like the fact that I talk about God and my faith alot.

And that is OK......I'd rather be disliked for who I am, then liked for someone I am not. (didn't someone say that quote somewhere? Sounds familiar as I type it.....I just like to give credit, yk?)

You might have seen this video (or a version of it) I saw this posted on Facebook yesterday, some say it isn't a true story, some say it's cheesy......I really could care less.....

even if it is "fake"......the message is real.






Be well......and keep it real today! :)

Peace and love~
*~Michelle~*