welcome friends.....thanks for popping in my world....
I'd love to know you've stopped by, so please note that the comment section is now found at the title of each post.

Talk me off this Cliff!

OK.....so maybe I am being a little dramatic......but do you ever get overwhelmed with your list of things to do that you feel like that sometime?

It's not like I have a major assignment with that multi-million dollar account due for the corporate office. Or that I am responsible for the state's budget and hold thousands of people's jobs in my hands.

It's just a bunch of things/responsibilities that seem to have crept up on me and WHAM.....they are on my back, in my face and poking at my ribs.

Some of these things could have been handled over the course of the summer.....and I take full responsibility for letting them slide. In my defense.....I feel that the few weeks we actually get of summer are better spent enjoying them as much as possible rather than keeping up with a "to-do" list.

Some of these things are time sensitive, others are not. Some come up sporadically, others I have had enough time to prepare.....but dropped the ball, admittedly so.

Another "in my defense" thing is that not only do I have all my kids' different schedules and running around.....there are very few nights where we don't have 2-3 or more extra kids here. I often wake up to this scene.....finding bodies where ever they decide to crash.Most of the time it is my older boys' friends so that presents the issue of needing to grocery shop twice as much. Try having to keep up with the appetites of four 6'2" and up giants. I swear they all have tape worms. One afternoon they ripped through 1.5 gallons of milk, two boxes of cereal, a loaf of bread, a pound of turkey, 1/2 pound of deli cheese, two bags of chips, 2 loaves of zucchini bread and a half case of spring water. I won't even tell you what we spent at the local pizza place for dinner. Let's just say that their jobs are secure for at least the rest of the month.

With that said.....I am completely blessed and wouldn't have it any other way. I love that our house is "the house" that kids love to be and feel at home to raid my cupboards.

I also am, as I have mentioned countless times, severely ADD impaired and sometimes find it hard to find my way out of a wet paper bag. My organization skills are pretty much non-existent and that is the main curse with this situation. So basically the visual is the little chores/task start collecting at my ankles, then more responsibilities start to pile on causing me to be a little bound at the knees. I try to start wiggling my way and tending to the knee high tasks.......get distracted and before I know it I am waist deep with random projects that need attention. Then that front end loader shows up with larger, more labor intensive projects and I find myself suffocating, frustrated and beaten down.

And I think that is my main concern......feeling beaten down. Kinda like a frustrated failure. I mean, I know I am not a failure.....but this feeling of being bound is so discouraging and I know part of it is the enemy speaking it into me and my spirit. He wants me to feel that way.

He tries to tell me that "See....you kept it "fun" all summer and now look at you. You are a mess. Who is the good mom now?!.....you can't even get your own act together, how are you going to lead and care for your children and family like this? You can't even take care of your own day to day agenda.....nevermind life!" Then he gives on last low blow.....he loves to remind us of all our shortcomings and ugly past......"You were a complete mess before and think you have it all together now in your life......but you don't. Once a mess, always a mess."

So yeah....that's not a fun place to be. The only good thing about having ADD is that something else will come soon enough to distract me......maybe a butterfly or a funny commercial.....and I move on. But it stays tucked away in my mind and it seems to be a place that is revisited more often lately.

Anyway........yesterday, I was dropping off one of the kids that took up residence at our place for the weekend.....and I got a phone call reminding me of yet another obligation. My brain started racing and I felt I was in that choke-hold position again. Fortunately I was driving so I couldn't run in my bedroom and hide under the covers and wish it away (not that I ever do that!). But right when I was getting to get prepared for a new and improved pity party (remember, I am the "hostest with the mostest" on those kind of parties) a certain song came on the radio.

Now I will say that I have heard this song before and being honest....I didn't really care for it. I mean, it was OK.....but I thought it was kinda too commercial for what I usually listen to. But I am guessing God wanted me to fine tune my "listening" ears and really hear these lyrics. The song is Free to be Me by Francesca Battistelli.

I found the video and posted the lyrics....at first I was thinking about singing it for you, but she does a much better job. (and I didn't want to break any of your best crystal, start the neighborhood dogs a-howling or your ears to possibly bleed)

I think the two lines that spoke to me the most (and brought me to tears with my hormonal self) are:

On my own I'm so clumsy but on Your shoulders I can see I'm free to be me

and

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek

So here you go.....(don't forget to pause my player)....






At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

(Chorus)

And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe...



So yeah.....it def. spoke to me and reminded me that God loves me exactly the way He made me.....even when I am dis-combobulated (not sure if that is a word) and all. He has great plans for me and as long as I am seeking Him.....I am a winner.

Now I am going to step back from this mountain of chaos and with the help of prayer, start tackling it piece by piece. I made a list last night and so far.....even at 8:30 this morning, have already cross off two items......only 47 more to go! WOOT!

Have a beautiful day!
xox
*~Michelle~*

15 comments:

Andrea said...

Yes, I feel overwhelmed. We are preparing for our daughters wedding right now. I just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
GOD BLESS, andrea

rachel said...

You most definitely are a winner! I actually love that song. It plays on the radio station that we listen to alot.
It is funny how things pile up so quickly. And overwhelmingly sometimes. But, we can do it if we just take it a little at a time and still keep it all "fun" with just a little work here and there. HAHA
You will get to it all eventually. That is what is important, eventually. :)
Hope you have a great day!
Christy

christy rose said...

That last comment was from me. I was signed in under my daughter's account by accident. Sorry!

chili pepper said...

christina,

I always end up feeling that way myself this time of year. I like to play too much during the Summer and then all of a sudden I realize it's time to order books, pack for vacation, do my fall cleaning and organizing, can the bumper crops, think about Christmas planning(that takes some time around here) and we have 5 birthdays between August and November... I find great relief in just making a huge list, even if I never look at it again, of all the things that must be done. Then I try to click off one or two little things as time permits. The amazing thing is...it'll still be there. And sometimes if you let it go, you find out it wasn't so important after all:) Praying for your calm spirit today.

Hugs,
Kat

Deb ~ Frugal Living And Having Fun! said...

Wow Michelle!! We are soooo much a like!! "smile"!! I often find the need to say "Excuse me God while I get out of my own way"!! "smile"

I cannot wait to spend some time together with you!

Not that I want to give you one more thing to do! Maybe I can go to your house and visit while we get something done!!

I am very unorganized right now, and I know exactly what you are talking about when you say the ugly voice starts talking to you, "which is the evil one of course".

You are doing the most important thing, which is being there for you children and their friends"

That is what your parents were to me. They always opened their home, their pool, and fed me when I was over. It was a blast!!! I loved going to your house and have a lot of fond memories of being at your house all summer long.

Call me if you want. I will send you a private message on FACEBOOK!

5forjesus said...

At first you had me hyperventilating as I began to think of all the stuff on my "to do" list. Then as I started giggling throughout your blog I remembered....HEY! Wait a minute here! We serve a great and mighty God...start each day in prayer and He will direct your steps. Btw, yes, discombobulated is a word...I use it quite often to describe my state of mind to my husband once he gets home from work and I've had 4 kids talking to me all about different things all at the same time for hours on end. :-) Oh and you've got the coolest house...wide open and ready for one more. God is blessing you abundantly as you touch each of those "giants" lives by being the incredible mom you are!!! I promise you Ez.. will NOT get stupid this year. I'm sure you will enJOY bonding with your boy. Keep finding those butterflies and being highly distractable...its one of the MANY things I love so much about you. Hugs of JOY and keep being real. LOVE YOU!
Dawn

Heart2Heart said...

Michelle,

I think we have all felt that way or even right at this very moment you are not alone because we are feeling it too.

School is back and we must do things on a time schedule that isn't of our own making.

I think it's like that for so many of us. Putting things down on a calendar and managing our time in a day. We need to see things in a real perspective so we, as master planning moms, who have been on just as much vacation as our kids have, to pick it back up again, slowly, and we will get there in time.

Trust God and you will make it. We always do, and the best part is, we are not alone. God is with us.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Mich said...

Thank you. I'm having one of those pity party days and was trying to get out of it when i read your post and listened to the song. I needed that! :)

Sarah Salter said...

Sister-girl, I understand! I live my entire life running about three steps behind. Most mornings I wake up too overwhelmed to know what to do first! But I just keep walkin' on and trying to "eat the elephant one bite at a time." And you know what? When it slows down at all, I don't know what to do with myself! :-) Hang in there!

Joey said...

We all, to some degree, stand at the cliffs edge from day to day. The key is to not jump, but raise praising hands at the cliffs edge as the wind gentle blows against God's most beautiful creation...us. Funny you are writing about this, just came from a blog that I visit "Down To Earth" and he is writing about something similar. We all have distraction, but praise can carry you right through them and bring truth to any situation. Love the kids, my house at times are the same way, But with girls. rememnber I have two teenage girls. It's wired at times, but beautiful for a moment. God is so good. I was thinking of a scripture that you can have alone, and take with you. God provides a hiding place for His fragile creation, in Him~Psalm 119:114. Steven Curtis Chapman sings a song "Hiding Place"~awesome. Be blessed today, for you are a daughter of the King! Glory to the Highest!

Theta Mom said...

Oh, how I am so glad you stopped by my blog! You need a "time out" just as badly as I do! I get overwhelmed, especially with all of the responsibilities I have as a mom, too. You are not alone!!! Looking forward to reading more from you! :)

Kim said...

Good luck! I know this time of year it is easy to get covered up.....fast!

Hope by the time you read this comment you have marked several other things off of your list!

Sassy Granny ... said...

The days of dramatic doings for me came to a close many years ago. The children are now in their late 30s, and my memories of chaos have faded, or at least blended with the joys of having lived (and survived) the chaos. I often loathed it then, but today I see it was one of the richest hues in the colors of the fabric of my life.

Yes, I like the slower, less dramatic better. I have lots of it now. But I relish the joys of juggling that were.

Be blessed,
Kathleen

Billy Coffey said...

This is the worst time of year for me as far as having so much to do. I needed that video, those lyrics, and your words. Thanks, Michelle!

natalee said...

love your blog im following now.. glad i found ypu..

 

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