OK........I'll wait.
So what did you think?
(I personally think she looks just as pretty, if not prettier before...but that's just me)
This especially hits home for me, having a little girl who is going to be growing up in a world where society, media and even our own mirrors can taint self image.
Even though I have no doubt that N will be very well prepared in life with three older brothers and an over-protective father, a constant reminder of her beauty.....inside and out....is so important. Now, I will tell you......she can hold her own on our little farm wrangling goats, lugging bales of hay and shoveling out stalls. She's getting to be a pretty good shot with her bow and arrow....as she is determined to be the "fisher cat slayer". She is a beautiful blend of compassion and sensitivity with I can and will kick-yer-butt if I have to.
So every night, Josh talks to her as she is falling asleep and tells her that she is beautiful......he also tells her that is smart, strong, funny, responsible, and loving. And yes.....he stresses over and over that she is beautiful.
Why? Well when the time comes that she is able to date......oh, let me back that up. When the time comes that a guy can make it up our driveway, pass the 120 pound Rottweiler.....then get to the door where he will be greeted by not one, but three older brothers who will have a field day with this poor guy for the first half hour. Then he will have to have a nice heart to heart talk with the gun cleaning crazy-eyed dad..... with his shaved head and goatee. Josh also has plans to have N's heartbeat pattern tattooed around his upper arm. We have it printed from when she got hooked up to one of those EKG machines in an ambulance on a field trip one time. Anyway, Josh thought it would make a cool tattoo......so I am sure that breaking her heart will get worked into the conversation.
So Josh's plan is that when she is finally allowed to date........I am guessing at about 25.......she will not fall head over heels for the first guy that sweet talks her and tells her she is beautiful. He hopes that when that time comes.....she will be completely un-phased by the compliment and say......"yeah, yeah...I know......that's all you've got?"
We also want her to know that the Bible also tells us about what kind of beauty is worth having.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" ~1 Peter 3:3-4
Real beauty is found in God. And God doesn't focus on our outward appearance. It is what's on the inside that matters most to Him. God's main focus is on working on our inner beauty. He wants this inner beauty to be reflected in everything we do and what we are.
So besides the whole beauty is skin deep deal....we hope that N...... and our boys as well....... love themselves just the way God made them. This world is scary.....it is full of lies and deceit with magazine covers, TV "role models".....even spending an afternoon at the mall. We can do our part as parents by setting limits/boundaries on the exposure of media.....stay involved with their circle of friends.....but we can only do so much as we live in a fallen world. We must trust and pray. Pray that we teach them what is the most important things to focus on.....and trust that God will always protect them (physically and emotionally).
I heard this quote before and I think that now that N is reading......I am going to tape it on her mirror in her room. In fact, I think I might make a few copies and put them on all the mirrors.
I believe in me, because God believes in me and God don’t make no junk!
*~Michelle~*
ps. thank you all so much for all your input/advice/wisdom with my recent situation. I cannot wait to dig deep with The Word and see what is revealed to me. You all ROCK!
I hope this finds you smiling....smiling because you, too...... were uniquely made for a purpose. And God has great plans for you.....just the way you are. :)
*~Michelle~*
ps. thank you all so much for all your input/advice/wisdom with my recent situation. I cannot wait to dig deep with The Word and see what is revealed to me. You all ROCK!
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14 comments:
As a mom of an almost 13 year old this post hits home. I loved it! thanks!
Beauty of the inside will shine through in our babies, boys and girls, as the Lord reveals to them how extremely valued and beautiful that He has made them. This was great Michelle!
I love the idea of telling her she's beautiful now, so that she doesn't get her head turned later by the first guy who says that.
Lovely post
Awww, I love that post! Beautiful, Michelle, just like you & N! :)
- Claire
This is a tough thing to teach. Keep at it....lots of love, encouragement, and prayers!
Blessings, andrea
Love the post.
I think you and Josh are doing a great job with your kids and I think it's wonderful the way you are helping mold their self image.
My mom used to tell me I was beautiful...and then tell me I would be so much prettier if I just lost a few pounds. Thanks, Mom.
Anyway, Michelle, you're absolutely right. When we focus on our inward appearance, it shows in our countenance and everyone can see how beautiful we are.
I have a seventeen year old daughter that a senior, a fouteen year old that is a freshman, and then there is my son who is nine and in the fourth grade. All of my babies are fearfully and wonderfuly made! There beauty reaches to the heavens, and I am not speaking of mere outward appearances. I am thankful for children. God truly has shown me the beauty that He seen in me that I would have never seen on my own. OH, help us Beautiful One! Forgive us also for killing the beautiful people!
Sorry, went on praying for a minute. Michelle, If you do not know who Jason Upton is, You would amazingly enjoy the worship of Jason. You can find his site on my blog in the left hand corner, or through Jasonupton.com Be blessed! And here is to those country girls! I have two of them!
Oh, how true. We have spent our years raising daughters, trying to insulate them from those twisted misconceptions while showing them where true beauty lies and also telling them how beautiful they are and how that is because they heart are lovely.
Did we do a good job? It is too soon to tell. So we pray for them along the way.
Kat
Michelle,
What an inspiration this post is! I think the schools should be showing it to everyone involved. Perhaps there would be less teen age eating disorders, less plastic surgery requests and people can start accepting themselves the way God created them.
People change, time does that to us all. Let us not forget that the very next time, we feel the need to point at someone whose outside appearance is less than perfect, because like you said God doesn't make any mistakes!
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
I loved this post, Michelle. I tell my daughter daily that she's beautiful on the inside and out for those very reasons.
Josh sounds like my kind of guy, too.
Hi Michelle~
I tell my daughter these things because she IS beautiful on the inside and out, I can no more protect her from the future than anyone else. Even our trials are for our own good...
I teach her to not only find that beauty in herself, but in others. The best esteem building happens in advocacy. Let me tell you she really is great, and, unfortunately every boy in the neighborhood knows it.
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I wanted to weigh in on your previous post too... what do you suppose God thinks? Faith isn't a 'bet'er's game.
First, Rob Bell... Velvit Elvis... a must read for us questioning christians... His vidoes are fun too, but I don't like to spend a lot of money, so if you're choosie... choose the book. We just happen to have some at our church.
second, what if it wasn't your friend doing the asking. What if it was the 'Spirit' or God... would your answer change? I don't think it would, with the way you answered her and I agree with Larry, scripture is great, but keeping it real like you did, being honest without raking over her belief system. definately.
My question is this... what of those kids in Africa? The ones who never hear of Christ? What about the kids here in the states? Kids that aren't 'trained' in our christian ways? I wonder, then, if Karma reaches them? Am I supposed to leave my kids and go to Africa or give my tithe to a missionary over my church- which runs missions- just asking-
I wonder if we truly don't have the answer for a reason. Many of my friends are not christian, but live loving lives... Is living the gospel around them enough?
I ask you questions because that is the key... that is where she is coming from. questions. they are great. But they are not really for us to 'answer' correctly. what a great opportunity to dig deeper into who SHE is, and share who YOU are in the process, the witnessing will happen organically that way.
She is offering you a window into herself, but this is where so many get it wrong... it isn't an invite 'in'... it's an open door for you to invite her out. Christ sets us free, we don't have to worry over the eternal fates of others, it's His cross. Know that He has it!
I love the way you write your faith!!! Keep at it!
I love this post, it definitely hits home as a mom of three girls. But I have worked and prayed on their self esteem. My oldest at 12 is very confident which I am thankful for. Middle school is such a difficult age. I am thankful to my hubby as well. He has taken them out to dinner, not McDonalds, and on Valentines day they all get flowers. I always joke that guys are going to have a hard time trying to "win them over". I continue to pray that God will keep them in this society of misconstrued perfection
Wow, that video was AMAZING!!!
I had a dad that teased me relentlessly and although "sometimes" he told me I was pretty, other times he made fun of me for being so "flat" in front of my friends or boyfriends. My mom always told me to stand up straight and fix my posture. She even talked about getting me SURGERY because she hated my posture so bad.
Needless to say, I had a HORRIBLE self-image until I was about 30. At that time, I finally accepted me for me, and came OUT of my shell! I do NOT want Riley to go through the same. I have always told her how beautiful she is, and I've always told my hubby to NEVER EVER tease her. NEVER. She needs our approval and she needs to FEEL how beautiful she is on the inside AND out.
Great post!!!
Erica
Very good post! Just remember there will be times she does fall into what the world tells her- that's okay as long as she comes out stronger and has a strong family behind her. The greatest thing I think a father can say to his daughter is NO MATTER WHAT I WILL BE HERE FOR YOU. No matter what she does, what mistakes she makes, what crazy guys she tries to date- she can't do anything that would cause either of her parents to stop loving her. Good luck and thanks for stopping by my blog!
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