Going "green" isn't always a good thing.

I have been struggling with a case of envy for the past week or so..... and then my friend Jen blogged about how that Little Green monster was creeping into her heart as well. I took her message as God poking at me and working on my heart that I had my own to finally confront and deal with. You see, Jen is a wonderful mama who loves Jesus too. So, it was comforting and relieving to read her words and know that I wasn't this horrible bitter person for having the same feelings. (BTW, she has a great sense of humor and a warm heart. Pop on over in her world to say "hi").

So yeah, in a warped way, it's refreshing to read about others struggle with sin. Because the truth is.......we all battle sin.

everyday.

We know that God doesn't take a day off doing His awesome works.........well, either does the enemy.

OK, so here it goes.....I am going to be pretty transparent here. I can display a smorgasbord of sin in one day. Just take a day where I've had a lack of sleep and a foul case of PMS and it can get ugly. This past week or so.......I had a double triple helping of envy. I also made sure I plopped a scoop of resentment on my plate........and oh, can you pass the strife too?

I had money envy
I had farm envy
I had baby envy
heck, I even had blog envy.

This is probably how I appeared to God. Veruca Salt from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

"I want it Daddy! I want it all!" *shudder*

I got into that place of sin where it binds you. It frustrates you. It steals your joy and peace.

Envy can be truly destructive.....we have the Bible to give us great examples of that. Just take Cain and Abel. eek! Or Joseph's brothers....or Saul being so jealous of David. It all started with desiring their own selfish gain, taking other people's success personally, and/or yearning for a higher position/rank in life.

Now we all are guilty of even a mild case of envy at one time or another. The common worldly phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" confirms that. Envy really just starts with our own desires and desires are part of our heart. We can want things in our life such as a nicer home or a little more security in finances. There is nothing wrong with having these yearnings as long as we realize that they do not bestow value on our lives. What we have does not make us who we are.

And like a magnet, envy can and will attract more sin and unhappiness. It brought me to open the doors of gossip and complaining, yet two more things that disappoint My Father. I was being a spoiled brat who, by being envious/jealous.......wasn't appreciating all the great blessings that God has placed on my life. I was focusing my energy on what I didn't have instead of all the amazing gifts I did have.

So today, I am choosing to be vulnerable and honest. Envy is often secretive and I am taking my first step to defeat it by admitting and bringing this to God (and now to whoever is reading this).

Thankfully we serve an amazing God who is full of grace and forgiveness. Through His Perfect Love, we can cover envy. By loving others, we can be sincerely happy that they are blessed, rather than wanting what they have.

I want to be motivated to do hard work so that it pleases God and helps others, not just for my own personal gain.

I don't want to keep up with The Joneses. Ecclesiastes 4:4 says: "And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."

So God.....I am ashamed, but bringing this to You. Please remove this ugly envy from my heart......replace it with love, appreciation and pure joy. I know and trust that You, and only You, will always supply all my needs. I desire to swap out the "I want's" with more "thank you's" from today forward. Please work on me in this area.....

In Jesus Name~
Amen


I hope you are having with a beautiful weekend....filled with fun, family and friends. I hope you take the time to look around and appreciate all that you have. Take two minutes and let me know what you are thankful for today (a great way to drive out thoughts of what you don't have).....and I promise I'll be happy to hear how God is blessing you.

(unless you tell me that you just found out you are having twins when you weren't even trying, found a savings account with 20 grand in it and are off to work on your 200 acre farm.... then blog about it to your 384563 subscribers.......)

*kidding!!....well.....kinda. ;)

keepin it real~
*~Michelle~*