OK, so yesterday I did not go to Stop and Shop and buy five pounds of their russet potato salad, put it in one of my better stoneware bowls and now plan on claiming it is my own for a belated 4th of July cookout that I am going to tonight. nope. I would never do that.
I was not out in the torrential rain one morning this past week in Josh's knee-high wader boots and only wearing my hoodie and boxer underwear diverting the water away from my barn. I did not look like a drowned rat who had an L.L. Bean fashion disaster. I was not covered in mud from head to toe. The mailman did not happen to catch this unsightly image either.
Speaking of unsightly images......I did not use the old puffy eye cure of "dab of hemorrhoid cream under the eyes" on Saturday night so that I wouldn't look like I went ten rounds with Mike Tyson for church on Sunday morning. And I really do not think that I just admitted that I actually *had* hemorrhoid cream available in my bathroom cabinet. No *bag on head* here!
I also did not
I did not learn how to "sex" my young chickens this weekend and it did not involve me pressing two fingers in a spot that no human should be putting their fingers on any creature for that matter. "Sexing" by the way is just fancy chicken lingo for trying to figure out who is a girl and who is a boy chicken. fun!
And on a happy note.......I did not feel guilty eating
*maybe I should switch the order of listing these "not me" statements......... as the subject of me eating a yummy dessert is following having my fingers in not so nice places. OK.....let's just know that I we have lots of anti-bacterial soap here and I seriously...... most absolutely....... definitely used it.
hello?......are you still here? Between a hairy upper lip and now the pretense that I have horrendous hygiene.....I am wondering if y'all raced your mouse to close out this window....
OK, if you are still with me.....God bless your faith in me.....
...... on an even happier note....I need to share this one last thing:
God did not blow my socks off by adding to my testimony of His faithfulness.....remember the blessed $200 from my Job experience this past week? God certainly uses "paying it forward" to bind the enemy as I received this email from Sue (the wonderful woman who blessed us)
".........
I have to add to your testimony(God wasn't finished yet). As you know, the rains have made it horrible and actually impossible for farmers to cut and bale their hay. My friend that I get my hay from, had hoped to hay this weekend, and so I was holding on, praying that God would stop the rains for at least 4 days and waiting for her call. I had shopped around this past week, but with prices at $13 a bale(and "not-so-nice" hay at that), I didn't have that kind of cash....I figured I'd "force" the goats out to pasture!!! But as I was down to my very LAST bale this morning, I remembered that one of my 4Hers dad sold hay and so called him asking if he had roughly 25 bales to hold me over....he told me to come by before it started raining again. An hour later, I had a pick-up full of nice 2nd cutting hay from last year....the cost....$200.
"Godronic" isn't it?? What's the scripture about being patient and waiting on the Lord??
........"
"Godronic" isn't it?? What's the scripture about being patient and waiting on the Lord??
........"
I am wondering how the $200 blessed that man and who/how he blessed another with it.
So there you have it. Wrapping up this Not Me Monday fun with a big fat Amen!
Now, hop on over to MckMama's My Charming Kids blog and join in on some great "laughter is the best medicine" kinda fun.
Have a great day~
Peace~
*~Michelle~*
18 comments:
Nothing like a little humor to lighten one's load! And this is such a clever method for drawing it out of us.
Be blessed,
Kathleen
Laughing out loud. Thanks for a few laughs before I had to start the work week.
LOL...GREAT Not Me! Although, I must share - My 7 y/o dd has a much simpler way to "sex" an animal. Just give them a few Polly Pockets. If they play with them, they must be girls, and if they ignore them, they must be boys! (Our female cat likes to bat Polly Pockets all over the house, and that was the reasoning she used to come up with that logic.) :-)
LOL Queen Mommy
She sounds like my little girl.
And ROCK ON for that suggestion....tossing a handful of Polly Pockets in the chicken coop def. beats what I had to do!
my word veri is later. as in see you later. we've officially decided we're coming to CT. yay. i've also been thinking about stopping in lancaster county PA because the amish intrigue me. we're thinking of driving 14 hours to PA staying over night 'amish see' the next day and make the six/seven hour trek to CT. although shaun says that since we're SO close to NYC he may have to drive through there, just to say he did it!! i say he's crazy! i should've just emailed you all this. anyways. i LOVE the 'godronic' story. totally cool. and what a blessing and testimony.
LOL that's hilarious about the waxing thing and how kids point out your flaws.
http://atticgirl.blogspot.com/2009/07/not-me-monday-4th-of-july-fireworks.html
A great Not me! Monday. And don't worry about switching the order on your chicken sexing/dessert eating. I had a little bit of faith in you and assumed you had at least wiped your hands on your jeans first. :-)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH Karen....I knew you "had my back" on that. ;)
Amanda....all I can squeal is
YIIPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Shelly..yeah, my boys do a great job too...they just are a little more tactful, such as suggestion what I should and should not wear. LOL
i just loved your blog it was great! lol. i loved all that " not mes" you put in there.
Hope you have a wonderful MONDAY!lol
I laughed through your entire post! Thanks!
Snort!
So funny, Michelle. And I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you. Kinda.
Love it! My husband is the date that never left 3/31/99 We've been married since 3/31/00 I figured it was a good date for him to remember. Laughing out loud about "sexing" chickens - sounds like an interesting feat! Also, as a fellow waxing Mom, I can tell you it's always the worst time my kids (or husband) mention it! "Gee Mom, you have a beard!" - in the grocery store last Saturday. I got waxed that afternoon.
What a wonderful ending...or make that beginning.
As for the "not me Monday"....love it. I totally need lessons on how to sex chickens. We usually buy them already sexed, but we hatched one and it is now big enough that we think it is a hen....but not completely sure. Better yet, why not swing by and sex it for us. ;)
Great Not Me, Monday! Why is it that our children point out EVERY flaw we have! (Sometimes it's like we have the Holy Spirit pitter pattering right behind us.) Have a great week!
Wow! God is just running to bless you and overtake you with his favor! You can't stop it! You can't stop it! Overflowing, pressed down and shaken together! So much so you will be overwhelmed! :) I know I am just thinking about it! This is just the beginning!
Wonderful Not Me! Hysterical and wonderful. I think this is the funniest that I have read.
Praise the Lord for His goodness!
Blessings,
Kimberly
A very funny and 'descriptive' post :)
I was just sharing with the Lord that I needed new nighties. I was hoping to find some at yard sales, but had been unsuccessful. I was NOT going to buy any new ones (even though the summer ones would be on sale). By the time summer comes next year, they will be too big (God continues to release me from weight bondage)..Well that same day I was talking to God about this, in comes my dad with a bag..inside a beautiful expensive nightie my mother bought me.!!! Of course she also got it for much less, frugal shopper she is. 39.99 nightie for 10 dollars.
the very next day, in comes my daughter with a bag from my mother again..another gorgeous nightie plus a beautiful pool dress...Now I'm all set.God is AMAZING.
Post a Comment