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Job 1:21


".......... The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

Ever have a certain word, person and reference repeatedly show up in your life? Sometimes it could be something you hear on the radio, then you happen to see a billboard with the same relevant message. The next day you might be talking to someone and out of the blue, they mention this same issue/subject. Another few days go by and you're flipping through a magazine and *bam*.....an article of that same topic is staring you in the face.

You might look over your shoulder as you think you hear the "Twilight Zone" music in your head.

For me....after I rub out the goosebumps on my arms and wipe the paranoid look off my face....I realize it's time to look *up* as I am thinking that God is trying to get my attention somehow.

Oh, let me back this up......the subject that has been being strategically placed in my life these past few weeks has been the story of Job and/or seeing passages from the Book of Job.

And I am kinda figuring out why these past few weeks as well....

On a much less devastating level....we've been living with Job circumstances with our little farm. One of the main reasons we wanted to start our little hobby farm up was to raise the kids up with the appreciation for life, learn responsibility and nurture/care for God's creatures. And it all started out that way.....we experienced the miracle of life watching a mother hen's patience and endurance setting on her clutch of eggs, and hatching every one. We witnessed how awesome it is as God has taught all living things to naturally know to prepare for birth and tend to their young. It's all so amazing.

And then we dealt with devastation. We learned and accepted that along with the happy barnyard scenario, the truth is that there will be death as in the circle of life. In our case......this lesson is being driven down our throats......in fact, I am starting to choke.

We brought home our two new additions a couple of weeks ago......Boaz and Willow. Boaz was a little "under the weather" when we brought him home, but we just assumed it was the stress from the move, getting castrated (sorry!) and it's common for baby goats to not fair as well during these times. But they usually bounce back within a few days. Baby Bo didn't.....in fact he got worse. We were at the vet's house with him this past Sat. loading him up with medications, vitamins and antibiotics....

.....and with all our best efforts and intentions.......it wasn't enough. I found Bo this morning passed away with his sister laying right beside him. It was like she was watching over him until I got there. As soon as I walked in the stall, she got up......and I fell down to my knees in tears.

I sobbed "NO! Please No...." but he was gone. He must have died shortly before I came in as he was still warm. He just looked like he was sleeping. I pray he just fell asleep from exhaustion/weakness and entered into his eternal rest. I know he is now healthy, happy and whole.

Rest in peace sweet Boaz, you blessed our lives in the short time you were with us.

I am crying as I type as this little guy was such a sweet little creature. I knew in my heart he was sicker than "normal" sick.....but kept holding onto the thoughts that all our love and care could beat this. But that wasn't the case. He was just too weak to recoup.

How "ironic" is that right before I went out to the barn that I was reading a couple of blogs where that passage for Job (God giving and taking away) was highlighted/mentioned?

How "ironic" is that I was listening to a sermon last week from my random Lightsource list and the pastor was talking about the life (and faith) of Job?

How "ironic" that I have been seeing the word "job" ever-y-where this past week?

So obviously I am not going through the level of loss that Job experienced.....but it does feel that we have been getting stripped of things that bring us joy lately. Not only with the animals.......but stuff that gets even more "hardcore" like finances and the issues of me conceiving but not being able to sustain the pregnancies.

This is all happening while we've been trying to chase Jesus and get closer to God more and more.

So what's the deal?

Am I getting the "Job" memos so I can identify with his times of pain and loss and apply it to my life?

Am I able to still trust in God when He is quiet and never answers the “why” question?

Is this to strengthen me, "put my praise on" and continue to serve God out of love......not just for what *I* get out of it?

When we suffer these losses and have these "why?" questions when there is pain and confusion.....with no explanation from God.....do we continue to follow Him? Or is there a part of us that wants to doubt and withdraw?

Many of us get to this crossroad more times than they care to admit.

I have gone down the path without God and know that it only brings darkness, loneliness and destruction when I try to figure out things on my own. I've tried it....and I am not good at it.

.....so it is a "no brainer" that I will continue to press forward and trust in Him. But I won't say that it is hard to not feel defeated during this time and desperate to have some answers as to "why" sometimes.

But Jesus tells us to pray without ceasing.....

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18


........to be continued.

17 comments:

Kim said...

"Be still and know that I am God."

That has been in my mind a lot. The being still part is hard for me. I try to understand everything and act accordingly. Again, there are things I don't understand. It is at these times that I feel God is pressing me to "lean not into your own understanding...".

May peace find you (and me).

christy rose said...

The "whys" are hard sometimes. I know! I guess not understanding everything and still knowing that God loves us and cares about everything about us, makes us to lean into Him more and more, knowing we will someday understand it all. Now we see through a glass darkly, but soon, face to face, we will know all the "whys." I am praying for you and your family.
Christy

Martha said...

Aw, I became teary when I read this post :( I do agree, I know we will suffer trials and hardships.. but you know what, it will only strengthen our relationship with the Lord and he will surely bless us! If not on earth, then in heaven!

After reading about Job, I won't be surprised when you're surprised with 10 new baby goats waiting on your doorsteps!! o_O

Praying for you toots, stay strong!

amanda said...

continuing to pray!! i know that this week was already kind of crazy for you, but i'm so blessed to know that you found god through all the crazy stuff. next week, next month, next whatever we'll be rejoicing together. ;0) loves you!!!

Joyeful said...

Job moments are never easy to walk through--but blessings are always on the other side! And more than you can contain! I pray those Job blessings over you and your family--restoration--twice as much!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Kim, Christy Rose, Amanda.....everyone.....thanks everyone for your prayers and encouragement are such a blessing to me!

@ Martha and Joye

You have no idea how right you both are.....my "to be continued" post tomorrow will give God all the glory as I didn't even get to hit the "publish" button and got Good News. News that only our Savior could deliver.

Mich said...

When I was at camp a few weeks ago, the speaker said something that has stuck with me. I even wrote it in a post a few days ago.

"The Kingdom of God is not about never struggling. It is about in the struggle finding significance. Even when obstacles of this world seem huge, you can find strength to overcome. The Resurrection takes out the sting."

Hang in there girl! If you are going through some Job moments, then after the storms, God blesses obedience and faith with rainbows.

You will be in my prayers.

Lynds said...

I'm sorry about boaz. I got teary thinking of the little goat and his sister. (hugs)

Sassy Granny ... said...

It's built in, isn't it, this business of loss? About the time I get to thinking all threat of pain has passed, wham. A new volley comes - often in the simple, often with little losses.

The God of all comfort is certainly on your side, and is equipping you to comfort forward.

Bless you,
Kathleen

christy rose said...

Hey I tagged you. Come by and see what you are supposed to do next.
Christy

Genny said...

Enjoy your time away!

By the way, I LOVE that song by Tenth Avenue North!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Thanks everyone!

Genny....I am not taking any time off, so to speak........just doing the Three Things This Thursday carnival for a few weeks.
I don't think my brain could handle not being able to blog for more than a few days. It would explode!

peace and love~
*~Michelle~*

Anonymous said...

http://theoldadam.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/a-friend-in-need/

momstheword said...

I love Job 23:8-10. These are verses I claimed when we were waiting for years to conceive our first child.

There are times when it feels like you can't see evidence of God working anywhere. You look to the right, left, up, down, and it just seems you can't see Him working.

But like vs 10 states He knows what is going on with us, and He will bring us through each trial, like gold. Gold needs to be refined in fire in order to have all the impurities burned out. So it is with us in the Refiner's fire.

I love it when I am doing a Bible study and during the week, it just seems like the Lord is just really causing what you are studying to apply to your life. Like you said, it's Him!

Love that you knocked over the display, lol! I've done that too!

5forjesus said...

Michelle,
I'm so sorry about Boaz. What a sweetie he was. I'm glad I got to meet him and see how much care and love you were giving him. I wish I could take all the sorrow and suffering away for you, but as you know, God has a purpose for it. Keep your eyes on Him and keep praising and chasing Him. You are an inspiration. I'm praying for you and your family and your sweet little farm. Hugs of JOY JOY JOY!

Karen said...

I never have liked to learn lessons through living them, but that's just the way it goes, sometimes. I'm glad you're getting through it, though, and I'm sure this is bringing your family closer together.

There are many, many things we can learn from Job's example, aren't there?

Billy Coffey said...

It took me a long time to realize that what God wants from us most is our trust, and He'll allow us to endure a lot of nasty things in order to get that.

So sorry for your loss, Michelle. Job endured and was blessed. I'm sure you'll be no different.

 

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