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Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insomnia. Show all posts

Can you speak up?

OK, can you hear that?

Me. either.

Well, I feel it.

Am I making sense?

Probably not.

OK, here's the deal......I feel God speaking to me, but I cannot quite hear what He is saying. I know He is working with me right now......just like The Potter that He is. He is molding me, preparing me for something.

Of course it is awesome to feel His presence, but sometimes it is almost uncomfortable in the sense that I am uneasy. I am a little jiggie (pronounced jig-gee, as in anxious/nervous/unsettled.......not jiggly, although that unfortunately can be used to describe me too)

I know He is calling on me to do something.......something significant. Something that will be effective. A different but even better direction.

But I can't hear what He is saying!

I know, I know.....I need to be still. But that's hard for a un-medicated ADD mama like me. I try.....I do. I try to focus in prayer......and although I get touched by certain Scripture.....I don't get that road map that I am desperately asking God to hand over. I wish they had a GPS system for our walk with Christ. Wouldn't that rock? I imagine it would have different voice settings......like you could choose from angelic singing instructions......or a majestic deep strong voice commanding you! HA! Now see? This is exactly why it is hard for me to stay on task.......(and ultimately need a device to keep me on course).....my brain wanders off so easily.

*sigh*

OK, so I need some suggestions on how to be still. I am yearning to hear what plans God has for me......I feel like I have a big present in front of me, wrapped up in gorgeous ribbons and sparkly paper.....and I just want to rip right into it~!

I know that God has placed some thoughts and ideas in my head when I have one of my lovely insomnia moments. He must love to mess with me because He always sends thoughts racing in at full speed. If I could give you a visual.....it's like a tornado where you see bits and pieces of items caught up in the twister, but never a clear shot on the specifics.

Maybe He just knows that is how I operate most of the time and He's just communicating Michelle-style. I guess He would know best, right?

So for now......I will wait patiently.....I am so eager to please Him that it is hard to keep it contained. He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams......He knocks my socks off! He rescued me....and continues to forgive me when I screw up.

I owe this to Him.

Peace and love~
*~Michelle~*


ps. This Scripture keeps creeping in my head since I read it this week during one of my "speed-prayer" sessions.....(on the toilet......hey, being honest.....I'm lucky I even get the bathroom to myself in this house!!!
.......And surely I am not the ONLY person who keeps a spare Bible in their bathroom......it beats any magazine or catalog, doesn't It?)

Anyway.....here it is:

'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Matthew 13:29

.....so now what?!??!? eek. I need help.
 

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