Growing Pains

So a couple of days ago I had my "AHHHHHHH" moment of peace and comfort. And now I am experiencing that "AH-HAHHHHHHHHHHHH" kinda moment of discovery/enlightenment.

As I continue to try to dig deeper in my Walk........I have been setting aside my "first" moments in the early morning to read. And as I've told you all before......I am not a "good" reader. But if I find something that hooks me from the beginning.....I can stay focused enough to dive in. And my desire to know God more is what helps me to do so.

(I just finished Plan B by Pete Wilson which was AWESOME, btw!)

Anyway.... a while ago.....I found myself in the WOW factor awe mode.....and now I find myself in a new, somewhat uncomfortable place.

So I will keep it raw and honest here.........as I try to do always.

I guess I never really really really got "Christ died for our sins" the way it has been being brought to Light recently. Of course, I know what it says on the surface.......but something clicked in my head (and pierced my heart) when it was revealed to me this way:

We all have moments in our life that we are not proud of. Some more than others (shamefully raising my hand). So think about some of the events in your life that really make you cringe when you look back...some of those dishonorable events that although you might have already asked and received forgiveness (or possibly have not), they still are not moments that you like to re-live or remember. Now picture them being video-taped YouTube-style and broadcasted for all the world to see. How about posting it on your blog or Facebook for all your friends and family?

Think about the shame it would bring.
Think about the guilt.
Think about the conviction.
Think about the disgrace.

Now think about how Jesus bore the collective shame of all of us. That is how Jesus felt when He hung on that Cross.

Between his hand and the wood there was a list. A long list. A list of our mistakes: our lusts and lies and greedy moments and prodigal years. A list of our sins.
{Max Lucado~He Chose The Nails}

ouch.

Of course I "got it" for the most part up until this point......but I didn't "get it" the way I now do. When it fell on me like a load of bricks, I actually started to feel my heart race......I felt uncomfortable with those thoughts and the images in my head.

Now many of you will say.......duh, Michelle......of course this is what it meant. But again.....I will always keep it real. I never claim to know it all....or have it all together. Quite opposite, actually. I am learning day by day.....growing.

And I am experiencing growing pains with this one.

a *Message* of Hope......

OK, so I originally had Ephesians 1:7-12 NIV ready to share with you. I had read it this morning and it was one of those"AHHHHHHHHHHH" moments. Not to be confused with an "AH-HAHHHHHHHHH" moments of discovery (insert light-bulb over head).

No, this was a moment where I was once again, reassured that God's "got it all under control" and I felt a extraordinary sense of comfort surround me. Like pretty much everyone you talk to....we've been having our share of ups and downs lately....and through it all, we've been trying to do our best to turn them over to Him.

So anyway......I jumped on over to the handy dandy Bible Gateway site to copy/paste this awesome message of hope and comfort. Usually I scroll down and choose the NIV because.....well, I don't really know why now that I think about it. I guess it is easier for me to understand as sometimes the thee's, thou's and all the -th's get this already confused brain even more confused.

For some reason.......the Message version came up instead. Now I don't know much about this version and I don't dare tip toe into why one version/translation is better than the other.....I just know that this really spoke to my heart today. And I hope it might do the same for someone else who might be going through some uncertain times. I pray that it offers some hope......some Light in the middle of a dark time you might be experiencing.

Just share the Scripture will ya, Michelle!?!

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah,
his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross,
we're a free people—
free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds.

And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free!

He thought of everything,
provided for everything we could possibly need,
letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making.

He set it all out before us in Christ,
a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together
and summed up in him,
everything in deepest heaven,
everything on planet earth.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.
Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up,
he had his eye on us,
had designs on us for glorious living,
part of the overall purpose
he is working out in everything and everyone.

~Ephesians 1:7-12 {The Message}

I thought about going line by line and sharing how each one really impacted me or try to explain how to apply it to our everyday understanding of His Promise to us. But not only would I probably lose half of you along the way with my rambling (literally and figuratively)...

....I decided to encourage you to just read this Scripture again. Take five minutes and read it line by line.

Let it sink in.


Have a beautiful week......

*~Michelle~*

Totally Random Tuesday

*I was thinking about having a little fun and lightening things up today.....so I thought about listing random things about me. Then my ADD brain remembered that I already did this....but it was about a year ago. So I am re-posting it but tweaked a few things that might have changed or I found even more interesting to share.*

Due to another super busy week, I am finding myself feeling the need to pop back on my blog, but cannot slow down the pinballs that are pinging around my head long enough to get a profound thought together. So I decided to do something fun and easy on my brain. I saw this on someone's blog and of course, due to the arcade game in my head, cannot recall whose it was. But it basically was a meme that you listed 50 random facts about yourself that people may or may not know (or in my case, care to).

So if you have 5 minutes to blow and know ahead of time that you will never get them back.......here they are:

1. I love Jesus.
2. I am 1/2 Portuguese, 1/2 Canadian French.
3. I have four children, three boys and one girl...in that order.
4. I have one husband, who is my bestest friend.
5. I have my cosmetology license.
6. I secretly wish I had dreadlocks. (clean, small ones)
7. I am submitting an application with my best girlfriend, Lili....for The Amazing Race.
8. I hate dislike (or my new term, "find it hard to love"...) flies.
9. I feel much younger than what I am.
10. My dad was an Airborne Ranger in the Korean War.
11. I have an addictive personality.
12. God is #1 in my life.
13. My family is the closest runner-up to #12 that is possible.....
14. I am pretty laid back even though I appear to be a spaz.
15. I have never traveled west of the East Coast states.
16. I plan to change #15 soon.
17. My first job was working in a clam cake shack on a lake when I was fourteen and a half.
18. I will get to Africa in my lifetime.
19. I am the youngest of two children.....older brother.
20. I love all animals and believe they have personalities and emotions.
21. I am a tie dye artist.
22. I suffer from migraines that can kill an elephant.
23. I have white coat phobia (aversion to doctors, hospitals, etc)
24. I love to dig in the dirt. (it is much more effective and cheaper than a therapist)
25. I have a children's book in draft form with 2 inches of dust on it. (*make that 4 inches of dust)
26. My husband is an expert motocross racer, but is retired due to older bones breaking easier.
27. I am not a very good cook.
28. I love being a mom.
29. I have a problem interrupting people.
30. I need coffee in the morning.
31. I want to be a midwife when I grow up. (for now I am loving "delivering" goat babies/kids)
32. I am super competitive. (ask anyone who will still play a board game with me)
33. I am pro-life.
34. Children who are suffering from abuse or sickness breaks my heart in two.
35. I love handmade soap.....(now I make handmade goats' milk soap. YAY for me!)
36. I am in awe every time I see a beautiful sky at sunset.
37. I believe in miracles. (I have had my share just in my life alone)
38. I love fall things.....pumpkins, cornstalks, leaves changing color.
39. I don't understand football, but watch it anyway with my husband.
30. I love nachos......morning, noon, night.
31. I love to laugh.
32. I sing horrible, but love to do it regardless, whenever I can.....no matter who is within earshot.
33. I now list "goat farmer" as one of my occupations.....and am proud of it.
34. I have hideous feet.
35. I have blue eyes that appear green depending on what I am wearing.
36. I have a butterfly and John 8:32 tattooed on my back.
37. I also have a small pawprint tattooed on my leg in memory of my Rottweiler, Beethoven. I have a cross on my hip. (I now have a very cool ichthus design on my inner wrist)
38. I am wondering if anyone has gotten this far.....if so.....God bless you!
39. Eating fruit with pits makes my lips and mouth get itchy.
40. Evolution theories infuriate me.
41. I have been told that I have a New York Bronxy mafia wife accent.
42. I am not from the Bronx nor have never been affiliated with the mafia.
43. I do have a raspy voice, and often get mistaken for a teenage boy going through puberty when answering the phone.
44. I know and believe that God has a plan for me and my life....and I know it is good.
45. I cannot sit still very long.
46. I cry alot.....good cries as well as overly emotional sad ones.
47. My favorite dinner is having breakfast food.
48. My two dream cars are the '78 Camaro that I used to own, back in the day.....and any Volkswagen Bus.
49. I love yard sales and Good Will stores.
50. I am just an ordinary sinner saved by the Grace of the most extraordinary Savior.

***FYI My good friend SharkBait just informed me that my list is actually 60 (I repeated the numbers 30-39.....so not only am I an ADD rambling spaz.....I am an ADD rambling spaz that apparently cannot count)***

So there you go.....a little mindless chatter for ya.

*hello? hello? Is this thing on? Anyone still with me?

Feel free to considered yourself tagged if you feel like some mindless chatter yourself.....it actually was pretty fun to think about who I am and what makes me tick.

And you know what.....I like me. :)

And I pray you like *you* too.

Have a beautiful week....


*~Michelle~*