Ah yes.....the famous words of the Burgermeister Meisterburger. You know him, the grouchy, fun-loathing mayor of Sombertown from Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. (which btw is one of my favorite classic animated Christmas shows.....first being The Little Drummer Boy)
Well that is who I was last night. I was miserable and ill tempered. I was barking orders at the kids. Every little thing set me off to a Code Red status.
There was nothing in particular, that I can think of, that brought me to this Burgermeister state of being. Maybe it was because my house was upside down and I was getting overwhelmed........maybe it was due to an overly scheduled and hectic week, or was it seeing my checking account got down to $3.96 (not kidding! God sure does have a sense of humor with His accounting)......I could blame it on hormones......perhaps a combination of them all. Regardless......I created my own version of Sombertown and I was the Mayor.
This morning, I looked up the meaning of somber;
-adjective 1. gloomily dark; shadowy; dimly lighted 2. gloomy, depressed, dismal.
Yep. That was me, alright. What grabbed my attention the most with this part of the definition was "dimly lighted"
I had no Light. God's Light was totally missing. And get this.....looking back.....I was totally keeping the shades drawn to purposely keep it out. As I stormed walked around the house, I truly felt validated with how I was acting and treating everyone. I am ashamed to admit (but you know I will lay it all out here) that even while decorating our tree, I felt the need to keep that snappy edge on to get my message across. How sad is that?
So this might be going out on a limb, but it was like the scene from that movie only with my own character substitutions.......(I got this from the Internet Movie Database while searching for a Burgermeister photo and it just seemed perfect!)
(insert me actually starting to have fun with the kids....I think I might have even cracked a smile)
So OK, maybe it's a little quirky of me to represent how God desire to give us peace by referencing a 1970 stop motion TV special......but to me, it was like God was still trying to shine His Light in my dark gloomy world/day by offering the chance to turn it all around with decorating the tree. He did not turn His back on me even as I was turning my back on Him. I should have graciously accepted His gift of grace when I certainly didn't deserve it. But I had been gripped/bound by my own emotions, I was stubborn and continued to stay angry.
And all it did was rob me (and my children) of joy.
So today, I am giving thanks to our God who wipes the slate clean and gives us/me a new day to make things right. A fresh start.....I cannot take away the ugly from yesterday, but I am given the beautiful opportunity to apologize to everyone and start fresh.
My first order of business in asking forgiveness is to God. I feel that it must be such a slap in the face to Him when I was holding onto anger and bitterness. He has blessed my socks off, but yet I found something negative to focus on and gave full authority for it to rule my actions.
So now I pray: Dear Lord, Help me honor You when the battles rage inside me. I don't want to hurt and fight with the people I love. I don't want to disappoint You. I need You to help me with keeping my emotions in check. I need You to help direct my steps/reactions. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Thankfully.....just like in the movie, there is true Victory in Christ. From Wikipedia's summary:
"As time continues to pass, though, the Burgermeister regime ends, as their forebears begin dying off and falling out of power, at which point the Sombertowners realize how ludicrous the Meisterburger "laws" really were while Kris Kringle "legend" continues to go worldwide"
brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
So my friends, if you got this far, without thinking I was too loony or off-the-wall with my thought process (I've been called worse!).....I hope you are blessed with a wonderful weekend filled with Light and Happiness.