V is for Victory!

So if you've been visiting even just occasionally......you'll probably get the idea that I am a very visual person. I am guessing that this is one of the reasons I babble on and on sometimes all the time. I guess it's because I really want to get what is going on in my head (scary place!) and heart and get it out in words. Most of the time, WAY too many words/run-on sentences, grammatical nightmares and abuse of all forms of punctuation. Then I take you way off on some tangent. But that is another story and yes, medication has been suggested to me many times.

So today.....I will share briefly what is on my heart.....and leave you with a visual that I feel best sums it up.

Not sure who needs to hear/see this......but I know I cannot be alone on this. Being in a place where you feel like you are really breaking through some areas in your life and the Light is starting to shine again. You start to work out the kinks in those tired muscles and get back on your Walk. And just as soon as you start to pick up the pace.....the enemy throw down a roadblock......a set back. He knows where you are heading, and will do anything in his power to keep you bound in frustration, depression and bondage. He knows if he keeps you there, you will be unproductive. He tells you lies and reminds you of your short-comings/failures.

But I am here to remind you that God is the Great I Am. He is and will continue to be with you through it all. He knows the ending to this situation and will never let you down.
There is nothing in this world that He cannot do. There is no addiction He can't break, there is no heart He can't change, there is no medical report He can't contradict. He will bring peace beyond understanding. He will bring hope to the discouraged.

I encourage you friends to never give up. And pray. If you continue to press ahead, give it all over to Him.....and trust in His promise.....there will always be a Victory.

(excuse the quality, but I had to sketch what was going on in my head quickly and scan it)




But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
~1 Corinthians 15:57

Be well, my friends and celebrate the Victory~

*~Michelle~*

Consider the sparrow......

Consider the sparrow they don’t plant or sow
But they’re fed by the Master who watches them grow

~from Consider the Lilies (Joe Hemphill)

Hello my friends......I know I have been MIA in the blogging world lately. No specific reason, just a combo of many reasons......my daughter is continuing to save the world, one goat at a time......we have been visiting friends, enjoying the weather/summer......and have been also been battling our share of trials (but keep reminding ourselves that these are just tests)

But sometimes trying to remember that these are just "tests" is a challenge. Sometimes in the middle of it all.....I will admit that I get anxious and worried. That brings out the control freak in me and then I start spinning my wheels trying to "fix" everything. But these things cannot be fixed by myself......I cannot make people do what I want them to do or make choices that I feel is best for them. I cannot magically make more money get deposited in my checking account, although that would be nice, wouldn't it?

This past weekend.......after all my attempts and scramblings, I ended up in that familiar place of weariness, frustration and helplessness. I felt physically and emotionally drained....I also have been noticing that my spiritual health is on the fritz as well. It's like I scramble and exhaust myself trying to find the answers and solutions, and then throw in a quick prayer to God at the end of the day. I am not sure if I feel my issues/problems are too insignificant for Him, that He has way more important issues to tend to....or that I am forgetting His promise that He will never leave me or forsake me. I am thinking the it is a little bit of both.

So yesterday morning.....still feeling spiritually dry.....I sat outside my front porch contemplating going to church. (how's that for brutal honesty about where I am at) As I drank my coffee, this teeny little bird flew over to the a dangling branch of my Weeping Cherry tree. The branch was right about eye level and she just sat there.....I swear......looking right at me. There was this amazing sense of peace about this little creature. She did not look concerned that the fragile branch she was perched on was going to give away, she did not look hungry or anxious of the threat of any predators (that would be one of my cats that was curled up under the tree liking his chops)

It was then that I felt God say these three powerful words to me.......

.....consider the sparrow......

It was then that I remembered what has been taught to me about the sparrow. So insignificant were these little birds that if you bought four sparrows the seller would throw in one more for free. It was this extra sparrow of which Jesus said, "and not one of them is forgotten before God." (Luke 12:6-7) He cares so much for His creations..... is so great that even this extra sparrow is noted and observed by God! So if we are taught about how He shows such concern for all the birds in our world.....how could I think he is not concerned and caring about me?And how I am far more precious to God than all the sparrows combined.

He also reminded me that He knows my troubles and understands my fears. I just need to trust Him just as this little sparrow does. She was not panicking, fluttering around......all flustered and worried. No....she was at peace....knowing that God's eye is on her at all times.

And I was pleasantly reminded that His eye is on me at all times.

And you as well.

Peace, love and stay barefoot~
*~Michelle~*

This is a test......this is only a test.

So my pastor was talking about this a few weeks ago, and it came at such a great time for me. I figured there's got to be a few of us out here that are facing some trial/struggle, some disappointment.....some unanswered prayer right now....so I thought I'd share.

He reminded us that when these trials and struggles come our way......ultimately they are just tests.

Now we use the word test in many common phrases;

When we are being cautious, we test the waters.

I don't know about your kids, but mine definitely test my patience. (not sure if I have passed this one lately)

We talk about the quality of something when it stands the test of time.

How about when we were in school? When a test was given, it revealed how much you had actually learned of what you had been taught. I hated tests......and I always bombed on them. Looking back, it most likely was due to my ADD/retention issues....(not anything to do with me totally goofing off)

But tests are part of school, I guess. There's no way around them. If we can relate this to life now....Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:20,21 that we are being taught in a different school when we are Christians. The School of Christ. We are "learning Christ" and are "being taught by Him, as the Truth is in Jesus". So we will have these tests........even "pop quizzes" throughout our walk in life until Jesus returns.

I decided to look up the word test and found the first definition to be:

~the means by which the presence, quality, or genuineness of anything is determined; a means of trial.

So the purpose of these tests are to determine.....or establish.....the genuineness of who we are.

How do we handle disappointments and setbacks? How do we treat others when we don't get the answers that we want to hear. How do we treat God when things are upside down? We ask Him to solve our problems, but do we ever ask Him what it is that He is trying to teach us through it all?

And it's not only to see how we handle these trials, but how we have been transformed when they are over. What is actually gained after the dust settles? That got me thinking about those first couple of verses in James that I always had a hard time wrapping my head around.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." ~James 1:2,3

(on a side note.....joy? Really, James? Not sure about you......but when I am finding myself struggling with relationships, wrestling with emotions, scrambling with finances and/or just the junk that life throws at me.....I can honestly say I am NOT very joyful.)

But what I have been learning, as I have been digging deep with my friend Jesus these past couple of weeks (which is one of the reasons I've been a little MIA)......is a little enlightenment on just what James is teaching us with that Scripture.

I guess the joy should come from the fact that we should look at these times as a sign that God has something great planned ahead. But we are not quite ready for it, so he needs to do a little work on us. I read somewhere that these hammerings and chiselings...although painful.... are necessary (while still in this earthly “quarry”) to prepare each of us so as to fit perfectly in our unique spot as a pillar in temple of my God (Revelation 3:12).

These tests are to shape and develop our character.....our true character......not just what we proclaim to be. I picture God using His tools..... chipping away chunks of pride, unforgiveness and selfishness off of me when I think back to certain issues I have gone through... or maybe I should say.......He brought me through. God, in His infinite wisdom, can work on so many areas in our lives with just one situation.

Of course, when we are amidst the trial, it is hard to imagine that God has His Hand on it. It is hard to trust that He has something better ahead for us. Whether it is a new job, a new chapter in our life, a new (or renewed) relationship. Helen Keller once said.....“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.”

These tests are not only tests of our faith......but of our total trust in God that we are "going to be OK"....(in fact, quite sure we will be much better) after this all plays out. Think about some of the past trials you have gone through. If you had a clear picture of how it really turned out in the end, you probably would not have been robbed of a week's worth of sleep....saved your stomach some damage with heartburn/indigestion.....probably spared yourself some wrinkles and gray hair too. (oh, that would be me). Well, you might have said a few less damaging words to others, been a little more pleasant to be around......maybe you just might have enJOYed life a little more.


So I'll wrap it up here and leave you with these two things:

One, try to remember that these tests are for our learning, not God’s....... He knows the end from the beginning. If we recognize that these trials are meant to strengthen us, change us where change is needed.....we will persevere as James reminds us.

And second........when you find yourself in the middle of a difficult situation......try to imagine a loud voice in your head......with that annoying beeping sound in the background.....saying

"This is a test, my friend........this is only a test."

Be well~
*~Michelle~*


P.S. funny thing.....I was being tested with writing this post. Guessing the enemy did not want someone to read it. Basically started this about four hours ago. My computer locked up about six times, had to keep shutting it down, then go back and rewrite many run-on sentences just to get this message out. I will tell you that I am actually laughing now thinking about how I wanted to kick, scream and swear after the third time......or how I wanted to throw the whole computer out on the front lawn by the fifth time. But I passed the "keep my cool" test with flying colors. I only mumbled a few choice words......slammed my hands on the keyboard a couple of times and did a little tantrum dance on the front deck once.

P.S.S.

Thank you to all my friends who took the time to shoot me an email and/or post to my Facebook, wishing me a happy birthday this past weekend! I had a great time celebrating the 22nd anniversary of my 21st birthday! I was spoiled by my family with lots of presents including new muck boots (have to be fashionable cleaning barns), milking and soap making supplies....and a brand new dishwasher! WOOHOO! :)

Jeremiah 17:7-8

So it's easy to trust and praise God when things are going well in your life......isn't it?

When things are flowing great...joy is radiating from me where-ever I go! I am giving people a Holy high-five....I've got that extra pep in my step on most days. I am "letting Go, letting God". Kinda like being on a rollercoaster with your arms waving up high!

But what about when times get a little rough? You wake up Monday morning and your checking account is already in the negative? You get that dreaded phone call that some medical tests were "inconclusive" and you need to return for a follow-up. Rumors are surfacing of an impending lay-off within your company. Despite all the guidance and boundaries......your children make poor choices in their lives.

I find that when issues arise (which they do!).......my hands that were freely dancing in the sky are now clutched with a white knuckled grip in a panic state. My brain starts racing on how to "fix" the issue with my own doings/actions/thought processes. I snatch the issues and hold them tight as if I can smother the solution out of them.

Of course I am doing more damage by reacting this way. Not only am I robbing myself of peace and joy with constant worry and anxiousness, I am basically telling God that I don't trust that He is able to handle it. I mean, let's be honest.....He can overcome the grave, but I think *my* issue just might put Him over the top and be a little out of His league!

How insane does that sound? But it's what I am saying when I act that way.

So friends, I need some encouragement to unload the burden and get back to the weightless freedom that trusting God with everything brings! Remind me that freedom is what God is all about.

Revive my way of thinking.....remind me of all what is taught in His Word:

We were bound in sin......Jesus sets us free.
He has paid The Ransom.....now we are free.
We will know the Truth and the Truth will set us free.
We are no longer slaves to sin for He has rescued us.
We are no longer prisoners, we have received the Ultimate emancipation.
There is total freedom in Christ

I know......the references are endless. Sometimes I just need that little nudge. I know God wants me to remember that He is never going to fail me. I woke up this morning, and flipped my Bible open. Ironically, my eyes went straight to this Scripture:

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

~Jeremiah 17:7-8

What do you do when times get a little tough? How do you keep your eyes fixed on God? Can you offer some advice/prayer for me... and maybe that one person who also needs some encouragement that came to visit my place today?

Thank you in advance!

Peace~
*~Michelle~*

Moving Mountains

*I got something brewing inside.......can't put my finger on it, but it is almost unsettling. Not necessarily in a bad way....but in a different and powerful way. Situations......again, not all negative.......are presenting themselves in my life. Just causing me to make decisions. Decisions that I know I am not qualified to make without going to The Only One whom I can totally trust for counsel and advice.

I know God has His tools out and He is adjusting, tightening and rearranging things in my head and heart. (Thankfully He created me or He would need a map to find His way around this place). So with change, comes uncomfortable and edgy feelings.....but at the same time, it is exciting and it is causing me to seek Him even more.

So that is where I am at....which is why I have been somewhat absent in the world of blogging. I am digging deep with my Jesus and searching for what He has planned for me......because I know it is gonna be GOOD!

I thought I would re-run another one of my older posts that pertained to obstacles/challenges and how we need to put our faith into action and do our part in pursuing the Plan that God has for us. For me....right now....I am in full force mode seeking that out and not give up until it is revealed to me. For others, it may be the thrill of knowing that no matter what lies ahead....nothing is impossible when God is by your side.

Moving Mountains (originally posted 6.29.09)

So yesterday at church, our pastor's wife was prophesying after a powerful praise and worship song. She was declaring that we have the gift to speak out and move mountains and we must exercise that gift/right......now.

So it got me a-thinkin'

A mountain is basically any obstacle/issue/trail that is standing in your way. We all face mountains in our lives. It's part of life.

Most of the time, we (including me!) pray to God about these mountains. But in a verse from Mark:

"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." ~Mark 17:20

......Jesus is telling us to speak directly to that mountain (obstacle) and command it to move.

There is nothing wrong with discussing things with God. We should. But we also have to trust in His Word and promises. We need to trust in the fact that God wants only the best for us. But we have to believe. We need to have faith.

He replied, ".......I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. " ~Matthew 17:20

Again, Jesus said YOU should tell it to get out of the way. And again, most Christians just speak to God about the mountain. Instead of following Jesus' directions & speaking directly to the mountain.

I don't want to waste another moment talking about my mountains.
I want to talk to my mountains.
I don't want to waste another moment begging or whining to God about moving my mountains
I am going to speak to it myself.... in faith. Faith in the promises in His word.

I am going to just do it in Jesus’ name & not my own.

We need to speak to fear and tell it to be gone.
We need to speak to doubt and worry and tell it that it has no place in our life.
We need to speak to sickness & tell it that it can’t stay in our body.
We need to speak to our debt. Tell it to be removed from our life.

I heard this reference to having hardcore, steadfast faith regarding a stone-cutter. He may be whacking at that rock over and over with no signs of the stone cracking. He continues to labor and even at 99 whacks he sees no results. But when he swings that 100th time, it breaks in two. We can apply this to our own rock (obstacle). We might not see any results with those first 99 whacks , but we are weakening that rock even with no indication. Being persistent can bring us victory.

So today I am believing in that 100th whack.

I will continue to press forward and know that I am covered in God's armor. I believe what the Bible tells me. It tells me that nothing is impossible with God. I believe that God gives me the authority. I will not let unbelief or lack of faith keep me from speaking to my mountain.

So today, I encourage you.


Speak to your mountain!


xox
*~Michelle~*

Are you there God? It's me....Nev

OK, so this isn't about my daughter asking about training bras or any pre-pubescent body changes....thankfully we haven't gotten there yet. (hopefully you all remember that book or I completely lost you with my first sentence. Usually that only happens by my second or third paragraph of rambling)

No, this is about my little girl who for the first time, had her first test of faith and questioned God.

It all started out this past Sunday morning. Not sure if it was a combination of a candy hangover from the night before and/or how toasty it was to stay in my flannel sheets that extra hour, but I had a hard time waking up and getting a start on the day. It was one of those mornings where there was a little frost on the ground which made it even more difficult to think about getting out of bed. But we knew we had to.....so Josh and I struck a deal. He would go out and take care of the animals, I would make breakfast and get everyone up for church. I think I scored on that deal.

So as I am starting to make coffee....the phone rings. It's Josh calling me from the barn. He says....."Uh, I think you better come out here". From many past experiences....that usually is not a good thing.

I threw on his construction boots and a sweatshirt and ran to the barn. When I flew open the door, what I saw was not pretty. One of our bunnies had a litter of six babies and they were all strewn about the cage frozen and lifeless. I was in complete shock because..... let me let you in on something. We were under the impression that Snowball was a male. And (s)he didn't even appear to be any fatter these past few weeks....not to mention, we just put her/him in a cage a while back separate from our other bunny, Hershey.

You see......we are in the habit letting all our animals, including the bunnies, be "free range". Well my neighbor came over a few weeks back and told us that although he didn't care about our chickens going over for a visit.....the bunnies were pretty much torturing his dogs. Come to find out, he trains his dogs for hunting with rabbits and it was getting a little difficult to reason with two Labradors and let them know that these were not the rabbits they have been trained to chase and catch. So when our bunnies would hang out in his driveway and the dogs were starting to shred the screens in his windows trying to get out.....he thought it might be time to let us know.

So getting back to the baby bunnies.....My first words were "Oh my God!".....Josh's first words were "How did this happen??" I didn't have time to give Josh the lowdown on reproduction...so I just gave him that look instead. You know....the one-eyebrow-raised and chin-tucked-back look.

Josh then said....."Oh man,I think they are all dead....feel them, they are frozen" And sure enough, they all were like ice cubes. As I started picking them up one by one, I couldn't figure out why Snowball didn't tend to them and/or prepare a nest.

As I was picking one up I noticed that one moved it's mouth a bit.....I screamed, "This one is still alive!". So I scooped them all up and tucked them in the pockets of my sweatshirt and ran back in the house.

I yelled down to Nev to wake up and that I needed help. She came out all groggy.....her hair looked like a rat's nest and her eyes were barely open. I told her to get the heat lamp quick....she took one look at these little creatures that resembled naked mole rats and dashed off to find the lamp. As she is scrambling she is asking what they were. I told her that Snowball had these babies and we are trying to save them. She brings over the lamp, her eyes are now as big as saucers and says...."But I thought that Snowball was a boy".

"Yeah, you and me both" I replied.

We started our best efforts at bunny CPR and got three to start breathing on their own. The other three didn't stand a chance. After about 5 minutes, one of the three just couldn't keep up with breathing and passed as well.

So we had two alive. Now we had to figure out how to keep them alive. Baby bunnies do not thrive well without their mom. Even though we researched and found out that mama bunnies are not like chickens and sit on their young.....they make a nest, leave the babies to keep each other warm and only feed them once a day. Sounds like someone should call the Dept. for Child Protection if you ask me.

We grabbed one of our many critter cages and made the most comfy warm nest we could and laid them in it. Of course I had nothing in the house to feed them.....I had since tossed the kitten replacement formula from our last rescue mission with those baby rats. (which coincidentally was around Nov. 1st of last year.......hmmmmmmm)

We got them settled in and needed to finish getting ready for church. Nev wanted to bring them but I told her that it was way too cold outside for them to stay in the car. Apparently she wanted to bring them into church and her class.......possibly an altar call for healing? I convinced her that God would keep an eye on them when we were gone and that after church we would take a trip to Tractor Supply (my version of a being a kid in a toy store) and grab some formula for them. Heck, if the mom only feeds them once a day as newborns.....surely they can wait a few hours.

We came back from church and got them started on their milk. I have to tell you that my little girl is like Elly May Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies. Seriously.....you'll never see her out in the yard without a chicken tucked under her arm or some critter following her around. She is just a natural at taking care of animals and they sense it.

She jumped right into heating up the milk and feeding them with a syringe. Then she tossed a few hand towels in the dryer to warm them up and then wrapped them with their full bellies. It was looking pretty good for these two little guys. (or gals....like I have any clue!)

She did the night-time feeding and tucked them into bed that night.

When I woke up Monday morning....I went to check on them. I saw one out of the blanket nest and it was on it's back. I picked it up and it was ice cold. I tried to rub it to see if I could give it a little "heart jump start" but it remain lifeless. Unfortunately, it must have wandered out and couldn't find it's way back to the other one and got too cold. The other little one was curled up nice and warm, thankfully!

I had to break the news to Nev when she woke up. Another thing I have to tell you about Nev is that growing up on a little farm teaches more than responsibility for children. It also teaches some hard lessons about life (and the circle of it). I am also thankful that she doesn't equate death with saying goodbye forever. She always talks of seeing all her pets/friends in Heaven and how they are happy and healthy there.

But this time, she had this confused look....she said "I don't get it. Before I went to bed, I prayed to God. I thanked Him for sending us these bunnies. I told Him that I understood that some had to go right back to Heaven to be with Him.....and I prayed that He would keep the two we had safe and healthy. Why would He do this? Maybe He wasn't listening to me."

*gulp*

I tried to explain....as best as I could.....that even when we pray for certain things, sometimes God has different plans. It doesn't mean that He is not listening or does not want us to be happy. We just have to trust that He has a plan and purpose for everything, even when we don't understand and/or are disappointed.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. ~Isaiah 55:8

Of course....this convicted me. Sometimes...well OK...MOST of the time....my prayers can be like "prescription" prayers where I act as if God is going to "fill it" exactly as it is ordered. The true test is still believing, praying and trusting in Him even when He doesn't "fill" those prayers.

My heart leaped when Nev passed this test. After I explained it all, as best as I could, she sat there for a minute, holding our last little bunny in her hand. She held it close to her own nose and stared at it's little face......"Well I guess God wants it to be just me and you, little guy.....let's go have some breakfast"

I pray that I may be more like Nev......accepting God's will for me and my life, no matter if the circumstances are not always what I want/pray for them to be. Give me that child-like faith that releases me from the bondage of doubt and disappointment.

I will leave you with this prayer/poem I found. It was written by Claudia Minden Weisz (a mom of a Rett Syndrome child)

And God Said No

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

Peace and love~
*~Michelle~*

***EDITED TO ADD: At 7:30 tonight we discovered that our last little bunny passed away and is joining it's siblings in Heaven. Nev is heartbroken as you can imagine. We just said a prayer as she held him crying about how we did our best to keep it alive, but it just wasn't enough. I reminded her that God was very proud of her for the way she loves animals and always is there to care for them. If you have a moment.....please say a little prayer for Nev.

Philippians X 2

I am not huge on talking about money.....mainly, because I don't ever have any to speak about. HA! But it wasn't always that way and I wanted to share.......and two verses from Philippians help:

Philippians 4:11-12
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.


We lived on almost double our present income about 12-15 years ago. But it came with a price....the price of "selling out" my time and short changing my physical and spiritual self. Now this is not anything to do with working vs. stay at home mom, so please don't read into that way.....this is about me working nights in a nightclub/bar atmosphere, dragging myself home at 2-3 AM and then being hagged out the next day. This stole time from me, time that I can never get back. And keeping it real and honest, due to lack of sleep, there were times where I am sure I was snappy/short with my children and not the mom God called me to be.

The "bar" atmosphere was not a healthy positive place to be, but I justified working there with the money I brought home. It "allowed" us to go on vacations when we wanted. We could shop for whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted......we satisfied pretty much all of our wants as well as ALL of our needs were met....and then some.

Now, this was in my infant stages of meeting Jesus....and it was then that things just started to not feel so "right" with me working in this industry. I was mocked when I spoke of my new relationship with Christ my many of my co-workers, but it didn't matter to me. I often found myself talking about God to people sitting at my bar. Some would listen, some would even venture to share their experiences/relationship with God.......but most would down that drink and run walk away (with no tip!)

On one hand, I felt that towards the end, I was a teeny light in a dark place. I stayed for a couple more years, but the conviction grew heavier in my heart. At first, I started cutting down my hours to help me with this conviction. But when I got pregnant with my daughter, which is a miracle story I will soon share.........Josh and I prayed about it and we made the decision for me to leave and stay home with the children for good. Now at first this just seems like, OK.....big deal. You quit your part time job. Yeah, well this was close to cutting our income about 40%. So think about taking your weekly income and slicing 40% off of it to now live off of, you can see what I am talking about.

Of course during this whole time.......the Enemy was trying to discourage us. Thoughts of losing our home, not having "enough" to live the way we were used to......he kept trying to drive thoughts of failure, despair and fear into our minds. Of course he was doing that so that it would take our focus off of God. The enemy's ultimate job is to bring doubt of God's promises.

So we did it. And yes, it took a lot of adjusting.....it took a lot of discipline......it took A LOT of coupons, bargain shopping and a lot of creativity....but we are still here. We didn't face doom and gloom, we didn't lose our home.......we still have food in our bellies, a roof over our head, and my children still get to buy new clothes and sneakers every year (which seems comparable to a car payment......have you priced basketball sneakers these days? YIKES!)

Do we live week to week most of the time? Yup.
Do we have to make payment arrangements sometime? Yes sirree
Do I sometimes wish this yoke would be broken off so that we could relax once in a while in the financial dept? Absolutely.
Do I regret for one minute the choice(s) we made? Nope.

The Bible tells of so many stories where God uses periods of great stress, financial strain and troubles to perfect His will and refine His people. God ways are not our ways, so we have to grasp and trust that God often uses these trials/setbacks to deepen our faith and redirect us to focus our energies on living our lives completely for Him.

I know that the conviction to leave that job was His "refining" moment (as opposed to *my* defining moment). God needed to burn off what I (we) needed. This refining was needed to bring me to a new level of character that was needed so that I could walk in the next movement of my life. It was preparing me and developing me to where He needs me to be.

My second Philippians reference is

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. ~Phil 4:19

I'll keep this short and to the point. I can tell you that before I had no worries about bills and finances because I relied/trusted in my job to provide.

Now, I have an even more worry-free state of mind....because I rely and trust in Jesus Christ. I know He is for me and not against me. I am following His Word.....and even in these tough economic times, in the world as well as in my own checking account.....and giving back a portion of what He brings to us in faith. Faith that He has never has and never will forsake us.

This was so like God.......we had N's party and dipped into our budget more than expected this weekend. We also had a few other expenses come up unexpectedly. I mentioned that we heard an amazing message about tithing/giving and we felt it placed on our heart to give even more at the service this weekend. I knew that we had bills to pay this week.....and this was dipping even deeper into our dwindling bank account. I will not sit here and say that I gave ever-so-cheerfully as God wants us to do....I think I actually had my offering white knuckled at one point. But we did it......and I knew it was the right thing to do. And after the blood flow went back to my fingertips, I did realize that it was a privilege to give, and ultimately.....it was His first! He is the one who keeps Josh employed and the blessings that come into our lives.

Long story short......we got an unexpected check in the mail yesterday.

You guessed it.

$200

**if you are not familiar with my blessed $200 stories, you can check them out
here
here
and
here

I encourage you today.....to rest in the comfort of knowing that God will always supply your needs. Even when the world paints a picture of doom and darkness, look UP and see the SONshine.

He loves you so much!

xox
*~Michelle~*