Isaiah 40:31

So do you remember a couple of months when I rambled about that wild clematis plant growing on a little path in my yard? Well, you can click here or I can give you the cliff notes

• I love the clematis plant.
• I have spent hundreds of dollars on them over the past 10+ years and not one has even "took" in my garden.
• I gave up.
• Last summer, we found a gorgeous clematis plant/vine growing in a path in my yard.....I could see it every morning from my bathroom window.

Moral of the story: God knew the desires in my heart.......yes, He even cares about what kind of flowers I love.....and gave it to me......His timing, His way, His place.....His will.

So yesterday I found myself arranging a pity party for myself......table for one please. I am going to be honest and open, as this is my blog and if you have been popping in my world on a regular basis.......you know that I keep it real.

So let's just say that I thought I had a good chance of getting pregnant this month. Josh and I are certainly not in hard core "trying to conceive" mode......but we are leaving this up to God and seeing if He thinks adding one more blessing to our family would be fun. Most people would call me crazy, but as I mentioned before.....I'd be thrilled to be doing drivers ed and diapers at the same time. I get comments all the time about my age and blah blah blah (after a while, it sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown, yk?)......but according to my doc (who knows me inside and out, literally) and some testing she has done.....there is no reason I couldn't/shouldn't have another. She tells me that if anyone could handle a baby in their early 40s, it would be me. So after our recent loss in January......Josh and I decided to keep this issue in God's hands and see what He has planned for us. We trust fully in Him with our finances, our family, our health......our whole LIFE. period.

So without divulging TMI......let's just say we go with the flow every month. We tried "planning" and that was just wrong. Too much pressure.....too much structure. I am a free spirit, I avoid calendars and rigorous schedules as much as possible. So that didn't work for us. We actually laughed out loud after one night when we both "confessed" that it was the worst experience ever.

So, this month.....everything was timed pretty good, the planets were all lined up perfect.

nothing.

*sigh*

I know all the odds, I know the factors involved.....I know the risks with having babies at an older age (*insert Charlie Brown's teacher again)

I know all the inspiration, I know all of my blessings, I know I need to trust God's will, which I totally do......(doesn't mean I have to agree with it, LOL)

I just was let down and wanted to have some normal human feelings and be discouraged. I didn't want to count my blessings, I just wanted to stomp my feet for a bit. You know.......get it out of my system. I have had my share of losses over the past few years and I just wanted to be "pissy" if you will. I have been yearning to be pregnant for the past couple of years and now that Josh came to his senses is open to the idea...I am afraid it is too late. Not that God is wearing a biological watch or anything, lol.....but *He* might think my body is too old/tired for a baby now.

I decided that I was going to allow myself a pity party for a few hours and then be done with it. And I did.

When I am discouraged and down.....I clean and organize. So if you came to visit me......you will see that I don't get discouraged and down often. HA! I get like Martha Stewart on steroids. I start feverishly scurrying from one clutter pile to another like a mad lady, sifting and sorting through random items. The funny thing, is that I end up basically making new, more organized clutter piles because my ADD kicks in and I get overwhelmed.

Anyway......God has a funny way of being a total "buzzkill" on these pity parties.

I was organizing the bread box on top of the fridge and found a forgotten bag of what I think were English muffins. There was enough mold in this bag to make a batch of penicillin for a third world country. I went to toss it when this business card came flying out from under it. It was from our last order of Angel Food Ministries. (not sure if you know about this organization, but it is great).

The card simply had the Angel Food logo and the Scripture Isaiah 40:31 which reads:

But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

the word "wait" appeared to be in bold at first, but when I read it again......it was the same font style. God likes to tweak with our vision too.

At that moment......I felt a new sense of hope come over me. I felt like God was reminding me that He has it all under control....and knew I needed a little boost.

I started to cry as I instantly felt remorse for my selfishness. I asked God to forgive me for sounding and acting unappreciative of the blessings He has, and continues to, bring in my life. I felt like I was acting like a spoiled brat. I felt so ashamed.

We serve such a amazing God. He is so full of grace, comfort and love.....

As I went to my bathroom to wipe the boogers.....I happened to glance out my window and this caught my eye:

This picture is worth a thousand words.....

.....but you know I'll add a few more.

Not only does this show God's faithfulness.....but it also represents something else to me. As you can see, that clematis plant is growing in a huge patch of poison ivy.

Proving again to me, that God can bring beauty in ugly painful places.

So I'll leave you with a close up of this gorgeous flower......how blessed we are that God is the Ultimate Artist who shares His works with us. He cares enough about us (even when we don't deserve it) to give us beautiful creations to enjoy and used His brush and pallet of infinite colors to paint the world......for us! If you really think about it, He could have just given us (humans) a boring black & white world.


He doesn't owe us anything........we owe Him everything.


Have a wonderful weekend.....

peace, love and stay barefoot~

*~Michelle~*

Three Things This Thursday (LOST finale, farmin and a little ROAK goes a long way)

I. LOST finale! My brain is on overdrive (not to mention, WIPED! Between trying to absorb every detail of that two hour finale and going way past my bed time.....) so I need to collect my thoughts (and maybe squeeze in a little kitty cat nap) and I'll be back with my recap.

But I will let you know that a LOST season finale would not be complete without these:
We called this our Decadent Dharma Death by Chocolate which was warm chocolate cake (we used brownies), drizzled with chocolate syrup and a scoop of Cookie Dough ice cream on top. I stuffed my face with toasted pita bread and chips with spinach dip....and didn't think twice about how this was blowing all my hard Shred work. Well, I guess I did when I needed to ask for help lifting my arms over my head to reach the chips....but sooooooo worth it!

*so I will be back after I collected all these scattered thoughts and process how I am going to go all summer without LOST....although my brain could use a little vacation.

OK I am ready to just jot down blurbs of info about this finale.....

So far, I want to venture to guess that there is something very "Jacob/Esau" with this.....Bible stuff....and if you think it's just because I am a Jesus Freak, check out Lostpedia and see the AMAZING Bible references throughout LOST with just Jacob alone. Think about how many times God is mentioned on LOST. God save us all is quoted often.....God loves you as He loved Jacob was flashed on that screen (remember when Carl was being brainwashed?)



Jacob is appears in everyone's lives as a "savior" to help, especially in Locke's case. Again, not sure if I am reading way too much into this with my Bible eyes and mind....but the white dove on the book he was reading seemed very symbolic after he pretty much brought Locke back to life. So, he bails out Kate as a young child......he blesses Sun and Jin with excellent Korean, lol.....he hands young Sawyer a pen for his letter to Anthony Cooper (conman)....we also find out he is the one tells Hurley about the Ajira flight. He even hands Jack that Apollo candy bar that was stuck in the vending machine. The only thing that seems not "helpful" is when he stalls Sayid, and Nadia gets hit by that car (that was pretty graphic)......but maybe he "helped" Sayid by stalling him and avoiding getting hit himself. hmmmmmm.

Another thing......When Ilana and crew ask Richard Alpert the burning question "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" His Latin response translated into "He who will save us all".

So probably way off......but I'll venture to guess that
Jacob represents God (GOOD)
Locke could be a representation of Jesus (will rise again)
Smoke Monster could be the Holy Spirit......

......and that would make
The other guy on the beach with Jacob would be Satan/The Enemy/Evil
Ben could be Judas (betrayer, pawn in Evil plan)

Call me crazy. I don't know.


Little blurbs:

I was happy to see that Rose and Bernard were living out their lives on the island.....I still think they end up being the original Adam and Eve (two corpses found in that cave, I think Season One)

Lots of butt whooping in this episode......the smackdown between Sawyer and Jack was great. Pretty inpressed with Jack. I had to giggle when after it all, Juliet tells Sawyer that she changed her mind.....the look on his face was priceless. And speaking of Juliet......I wanted to give her a high five for laying out that submarine guard.

I loved hearing Miles scream "Dad" to Dr. Chang.......and was also happy to see that he didn't get his arm/hand ripped off.

OH, I read that the crocodile creature statue is Sobek, the Egyptian god of fertility......which makes sense that if (s)he is destroyed/torn down......that is why there was an issue on the island with women not being able to carry babies.

Lots pointing to Charlie returning to the island (why not? there are tons of dead people showing up)....Jacob leaving that guitar to Hurley.....Sun finding the DriveShaft ring......(which btw, my son H has a really cool DriveShaft tour shirt that we scored last year......has nothing to do with this recap, but wanted to share)

LOVED it when Rose said "“It’s always something with you people.”

What happened to my friend Sayid? He got shot but everyone was too busy getting sucked into the magnet trench of destruction, so they never panned back to him (or maybe my head is still spinning and I don't remember???)

I was sad to see Juliet get sucked down into that magnetic pit, Sawyer was devastated......but I thought it was a little far fetched that she survived that fall. I guess they needed someone to make that bomb detonate and leave us hanging until 2010, huh?

......or did it detonate? We only see the white flash.

*insert LOST ending noise here*


2. Things have been very busy here.....not only did we have nine new additions over Mother's Day weekend...Penny isn't going to be the only new mama around here......(NO, not me! I wish! *wink)....Princess has been "getting her brood on" and is laying on 12 eggs. Her little babies should be hatching sometime next week, maybe sooner!
And J is putting the finishing touches on the corral for our two little Nigerian Dwarf goats that are coming home to us in June. We already decided on their names. Bo (short for Boaz) was named by N......and Josh wanted to name his little sister Willow. He always loved that name and thought we might use that name *if* we had another little girl.....but it looks like we are going to use it on a little goat instead. *sniff
So he finally gets "his" Willow and in some weird twisted way, I am becoming a mommy again with these "babies". They are the cutest little things, I can't stand it! They will be joining our family soon enough.....just waiting for them to wean off their mama...and you know I'll be posting pics.

N and I also have been busy with our garden. We planted tons of peppers, some broccoli, zucchini, cukes, peas and beans. We transplanted all of our strawberry plants from the other side of the yard. All we need to do is onions and tomatoes.
I am determined to grow everything for my homemade salsa this year.....well everything except the secret ingredient which I cannot tell you......then it wouldn't be a secret, now would it? But I will tell you......that I have been told that it is the best salsa EVER. And yes, I am bragging because I only have mastered two recipes to call my own that people actually request.......my salsa and my chili. Other than that.....I can boil a mean pot of water, get toast the perfect color and my peanut butter and Fluff sandwiches ROCK.

3. Not sure if you got chance to check out my post yesterday.....but I did do what I set out to do.....and it felt great! The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:1 Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven....so I won't give any specifics. But I just want to witness to you about what joy you truly will receive just by doing a random act of kindness. To see someone's face light up with appreciation.....or maybe you won't even get that visual gratification, but I can promise you that you will feel it in your heart. I encourage you to include your children as well....it is so important to demonstrate and infuse the gift of giving in their younger impressionable years. It is our job and responsibility to God to raise His children with Christ-like values. But don't take it from me....there is no mistaking the reward/blessing from God when we please Him......and be warned. It's contagious!

Well that is it for me today......please join in the fun and leave your link/comment!

Three Things This Thursday (LOST, Shreddin, and Diggin in the Dirt )

1. Not sure, but I think I had my own smoke monster coming outta my head after last night's episode.

The simultaneous plots were really doing a job on my un-medicated ADD brain.....still trying to figure out if Richard Alpert truly doesn't really know where Locke has been these past few years. The convincing confused look on his face lately is throwing me off......then again, he has had a creepy look to him all this time. He had the same weird look when Ben told him that he tried to kill him. For someone who has been around for so long, he seems to be out of the loop lately (pun very intended).

I can't even wrap my head around this whole Jacob thing. Who/When is he?!?!?!? All I know is that Jacob told Locke (who apparently is the only one who has actually seen him at this point) back in the little cabin to "help him" but Locke blows everyone away with his statement about "killing him". Was that just to throw off Ben and everyone? And does Locke really believe he is the leader (he did say "Aren't I the leader?")

The thing that is making me the most LOST about everything that is going on.....is what is everyone's true intentions?!?!?!? Can't someone be upfront? Talk about paranoia.....

Is Eloise trying to save Daniel or is she following the same chain of events, but this time knowing the outcome? I keep getting flashes of her from prior episodes (in the future or whenever it was, lol) popping in people's lives such as Desmond making sure all the events play out a certain way. This is all making my brain hurt.

What's up with all the underground tunnels and temples? And who originally built them? And what was Richard gazing at on that temple wall when they took that suffocating swimming trip?

Not so sure that Jack is thinking straight these last few episodes......does he really realize what "changing" the whole plane crash scenario will do? Or can it change now that they are back in time? ACK! I am still confused with the "what happens happens" theory right now. Not to mention that scene with Locke sending Richard to help himself.....and watching it all play out.

And then Richard told Sun he saw all the Losties in the picture die - but with Kate, Hurley and Jack in the photo.....she must be very confused as they were just on a plane with her.

So a few *happy places* that LOST brought me........

Dr. Chang realizing that Miles was his son, and then the bittersweet scene where Miles gets to understand that his dad didn't really cast him and his mom off with ill intent. It was to save them.

Sawyer and Juliet......too funny with Sawyer's comment about plans to buy Microsoft. I felt so happy for Juliet when Sawyer actually joined her into the sub......(I really thought he was going to just send her off.....in a self-less for-her-own-good kinda way). But poor Juliet cannot catch a break, can she? Freckles, once again, spoils the happy ending. If looks could kill.......

I did get a good giggle on Dr. Chang quizzing Hurley on the "current" events......too funny.

And YAY for Sayid for saving the day! So happy the writers gave me my Sayid fix.....he seems to be one of the few characters who is upfront and you know his intentions....I think.

(paranoia or confusion at this point)

So next week is the big season finale......not sure if I am relieved or what. I think it is going to take all summer to go over everything and make some sense of it all. We do see that Sawyer is talking to Jack so I guess that cheesy CGI sub doesn't make it after all. (come on guys, they couldn't swing a real sub for that scene???)

I will be making some serious LOST finale food/treats....you can bet your bottom Dharma dollar there will be some serious nachos involved.

Please please please share your thoughts and theories with me.....I went to bed with my head spinning and am still going over everything this morning. Leave your link/comments below!

On to my other two things this Thursday...


2. After hearing alot about this workout.....including Big Mama's hilarious posts regarding her current experience with it.......I decided to splurge and grab my own copy. I am on Day Four and I can totally see how and why you can get your own "shredded" body in 30 days.....It is because after you do this 20 minute should be a prisoner confessional war tactic workout session, you are physically unable to lift your arms to grab anything from a cupboard that is above your hip. And make sure your toilet paper holder is securely mounted to the wall, as it will be your thighs' best friend when nature calls.

......but I am now on a mission.

3. Mother's Day weekend. I am relying on two things to pull off my Mother's Day request of working on my garden.

A:Weather
B: The ability to physically move after a week of The Shred.

But if all goes well.....and after a bottle of Advil and a tube of Ben Gay......I plan on turning this:

into this:

So I not so discreetly left my Mother's Day "wish list" of new gardening tools and veggie plant $ on the white board on the fridge, because I am good like that. I figure it saves Josh time, money and energy trying to scramble for presents. Although I do like surprises and I'm all about "it's the thought that matters"......I really do believe that it does take the pressure off of him as I have been told I am hard to buy for. So to go above and beyond.....I even printed out the MapQuest directions to get my favorite handmade soap. (and the scents I prefer)

I'm so thoughtful, aren't I? *batting eyelashes*


OK, your turn......share three things with me this Thursday! I could use some new recipes, a good laugh......or maybe you have a prayer request....whatever you want.....join in!




Peace and love~
*~Michelle~*