Holding a Grudge is Like Drinking the Poison and Expecting the Other Guy to Die

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
~Lewis B. Smedes

Happy belated new year, my friends......I hope your Christmas Season was overflowing with blessings.......

As you have noticed........my time here in "blogville" has been less and less frequent these past few months. Although I do miss visiting many of you all and being blessed with your inspiration and thought provoking words....I have been pressing through some areas in my life that have taken up a higher priority.

So I try to always share the good, the bad and the ugly of "*~Michelle~*". I have always kept it real, and today is no different as I share a little glimpse of what has been going on with me.......and the beauty of answered prayer.

I am all about posting positive uplifting messages, being cheerful and trying to keep a smile on my face 24/7 despite any sadness/hurt toiling inside....but I have never been good at acting either. So I am guessing that one of the reasons I have MIA....is that I was unable to come here and just jot down some fabricated upbeat message. Just can't do it. Never been good at being fake.....in fact, I wrote about my thoughts on being"phony bologna" in the past.

The purpose of my blog/diary....is to share what God is stirring up in my life. It is not to paint some perfect storyline of some hippie Christian gal and focus on "me". No, I just hope/pray that through all the babbling and grammatical nightmares.......that even one person will be able to relate......in the good, bad and ugly....and be directed to Him in all circumstances.

So here is a little "ugly" for you.

I hold grudges.

For big offenses and sometimes for the most ridiculous ones. In fact, I white knuckle them. Like that Target cashier who wouldn't take my $5 coupon because it was torn near the expiration date even though you could CLEARLY see was dated 2011 and this was still in 2010.......yeah, she is dead to me.

(OK, that was a little harsh.....and not very Christian-like....it's a little over-the-top/over-reacting, but I will never go to her line again..........hmmmpf, take that cranky lady!)

There is something controlling, powerful and rewarding about holding a grudge, isn't there? Well at least that is what the enemy has infused in my heart. Yes, being the control freak that I admittedly am.....it is how I find myself wired when dealing with hurt and disappointment.

..... until recently.

Yes, lately I have found myself entering a new chapter of my life. A chapter that includes the possibility of losing someone close to me soon. Someone who I have built up walls in my heart from the resentment I have allowed to harbor there.

Isn't it true that when you experience the reality of death or impending death of someone in your life, you then realize your own mortality as well? It becomes so apparent what really is important....and how life is too short to be wasted in a negative mindset.

With this discovery.....I found myself not praying for God to change what was happening in my life, but rather to change *me* and my heart as I go through it all. I prayed to have His heart......to have His compassion and forgiveness.

What is crazy is that I know that God forgives me every day. And I totally mess up too many times to count. Yet, He still loves me and gives me chances. The Word says His mercies and grace are new everyday. So who have I thought I was to not extend the same to others?!?

But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. ~Mark 11:25 NLT

And lastly, forgiveness is not saying that it settles all questions of blame, justice and fairness. But it is the only way to break the cycle of blame--and pain--in a relationship. It does allow relationships to be restored.....not only with the person you are forgiving, but most importantly.....with God. We have the chains of anger/bitterness broken off of our hearts and are finally free. Free to be happy, free to love......and be loved.

So here is where I am......in the middle of a transformation. I am not fully there yet, but can see the beauty of what is to come. I consider this another gift from God to be able to feel the walls slowly be broken down and have His warm love pour into a place that was once empty/cold. It is a gift for me to experience the love/relationship that was meant to be. And the gift of not having any regrets.


How about you? Do you hold grudges? Are you honestly able to overlook people who brought about past hurts and love 'em like Jesus?


Peace, love and stay barefoot~

*~Michelle~*

Preach it Linus!

Just watched one of our favorite Christmas shows, A Charlie Brown Christmas......for the third time in about a week. I am guessing, based on my age, I have seen it about 167 times (and that is a conservative number, don't even think about any age jokes or I will have to whack you with my cane.....hmmmm, but that would not be very Christian-like.....especially at this time of year.)


Our Peanuts Christmas set is also included in the Top 10 things to grab in case of a fire.

My question tonight is.......am I beyond a "sap" because I still get weepy during this scene......every time I watch it?







Merry Merry Christmas everyone.....

xox
*~Michelle~*

Matthew 18:20 (a testimony)

One of my favorite Scriptures is Matthew 18:20:

For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

The Message version is pretty cool too:

"......When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."

So now I'd like to share a little testimony with y'all regarding the power of prayer with others;

One of the things I struggle with is that I tend to be a worrier. It's just part of my nature, I guess. I am sure that part of it is due to control freak tendencies that I have such a hard time "letting go/letting God". The stress and worry have been causing me to have sleep issues over the past few weeks. I haven't slept more than an hour or two at a time and my brain would not shut off with worry/fear. Sleep deprivation can also start to affect your way of thinking and before you know it....you become consumed with worry and then the irrational thoughts start creeping in.

The bondage of worry and fear is an emotional disease that will eventually affect your physical health as well. Stress also causes anxiety which then brings about physical ailments......which then turns into more stress/panic attacks.....you see.....it's the vicious circle. I have felt physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. My weary/tired mind was running rampart with distraught and illogical fears. I have left myself open to the enemy who is always waiting in the shadows for this perfect opportunity, when you are most vulnerable to start believing his lies. He then slips in and takes over. This is his playing field....getting control over you with fear and worry. Reminding you of your past failures, torturing you with guilt and leaving you feeling hopeless for the future.

When I get into these "dark places" I find it difficult to focus. Then I tend to do the worst thing possible, I distance myself as I feel I am a prisoner of my own mind and do not want to be around anyone. The longer you are in these valleys......the more you tailspin. This downward spiral was going on a couple weeks and I was losing hope.

Well a few days ago, I had popped on Facebook and saw that someone had posted a link to Michael Perkins blog. I haven't been visiting my faith-filled friends lately, but I just happened to click on over and check it out. It was one of his signature hand written posts, and although it was just a few words.....they were powerful and had the most amazing effect on me. It was titled Rush Over Me and it was inspired by Ezekiel 37. (def. check it out!).


I had goosebumps as I read one part in particular, "as you rushed over me, worry spilled to the floor....fear shattered as it hit the ground....." .as if it had been written just for me. You see.....one of my coping defenses is taking long showers to escape as I try to visualize being "cleansed/healed".

Now I knew the basis of Ezekiel 37 was about God giving Ezekiel a vision, setting him a valley and speaking to the dry bones. But I needed to grab my Bible and read it again.....I read it slowly making sure each word was absorbed in my tired brain and more importantly.....my heart.

That's when it happened. I immediately knew this was my time to speak to *my* dry bones within. Declaring this self-destructive CRAP was over! And I kid you not.....I started to feel something within was being transformed immediately.....the pressure behind my eyes from my never-ending headaches started to lesson before I set the Bible down.

I texted and talked to a few close friends and just asked them to join me in prayer. I knew that my lack of sleep was largely responsible for the weaken state of mind I was in. I knew that I needed proper rest to launch myself out of this mess so the only thing I asked for them to pray for, was one night of uninterrupted sleep.

Then I started to prayed feverishly....I prayed for healing of my mind. I reminded myself that when Jesus lived here on earth, he healed thousands of people during His time of ministry. He healed people debilitated in body and mind. I prayed for Jesus's peace to come over me. I prayed to know and accept that there are some things I cannot change (my past mistakes, things out of my control, etc)......and to have a clear mind to move ahead to be the person that God wants me to be.

I jumped in my car and cranked some awesome music for a few hours and screamed/sang my lungs out as my way of speaking to my dry bones.

Then I came home, took a hot bath....a couple of Tylenol PMs.....I said my final prayer for peace.

So guess what happened?!?

I slept until 12:15 the next day! (I have not done that in over 19 years......thankfully my husband was praying right along with me and just let me sleep in!) I cannot explain the renewed feeling in my mind and body that I experienced...it was just amazing!

So I declare this today.

God answered prayers INSANELY.

I know that many of you all have offered up prayers in my name as well over the past few weeks......and I cannot thank you enough. Know that God is listening to each and every one of you...as I have, once again.....been the recipient of answered prayers.

I still have a way to go with my restoration......but I cannot explain how great it feels to be back on track!

So thanks again.....and if I can pray for you in anyway, it would be a privilege to be part of the army of Believers carrying out your requests/needs...

.......please let me know.

Peace be with you.....

*~Michelle~*

The Jesse Tree.......

'tis the Season.......we begin again!

***I know I have been scarce in the blogging world......(as my friend Shark Bait put it one time.......I've been trying to spend less time talking about Him and more time with Him).....but wanted to invite you to my other blog that is devoted to our family's Christmas devotion, The Jesse Tree. Please join us in our journey through the Old Testament...leading us to God's ultimate Plan of Salvation.

Feel free to grab this button and share with others as well!

<a href="http://www.pridelandsmommy2.blogspot.com"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Pridelandsmommy/JesseTreeButton.jpg" /></a>

I hope this finds you all smiling and well......I'll be back soon enough....and until then, let's embrace and enJOY every day of this time of year!

Peace, love and stay barefoot~
*~Michelle~*

Matthew 25:40

“If you can't feed a hundred people.....
........ then just feed one.”
~Mother Teresa

Today I popped over my "always keeping it real" friend Bill (cycleguy)'s blog... and he is discussing the issue of being overwhelmed with the needs of this world. He shares " it is hard to see that so much needs done and not feel overwhelmed. God has not asked us to take on every task out there. But He has asked us to be involved."

I say YEA and AMEN. We need to be involved.

And yes......it is easy to get overwhelmed and flabbergasted (is that really a word!?!) when you see how desperate the situation is in many countries due to natural disasters, crooked governments, and poverty/disease. But we cannot allow this to keep us from doing something.....anything....that can truly make a difference.

One of my Jesus lovin' friends, Jennifer from Getting Down with Jesus has beautiful insight on how effective we can be just by everyone doing one thing. She calls it Contagious Giving.

"......how each ONE thing we do multiplies into the whole BUNCH that we collectively offer up to the Lord. One plus one plus one .."

This week is National Collection Week for Operation Christmas Child, a ministry with Samaritan's Purse. We love doing this every year......and encourage you and your family to join in this year.

Like prior years.....I let the kids decide who we will be buying for. You have a choice if you would like to send your box to a boy or girl.....and also the age range. Nev chose to make up a package for a girl in her own age group, figuring she would know firsthand what she would like.

At first she wanted to get computer games and I needed to remind her that most of these children do not have electricity, never-mind a computer. So we set out to buy art supplies, stuffed animals, a really cute little Etch-a-Sketch. We also grabbed a bunch of toiletries such as toothbrushes, toothpaste and tissues as I explained that these were luxuries as well.

My heart swelled as I watched my little girl carefully packing the items and explaining how this little girl could use the pocketbook to put her hair accessories in and sleep with the little stuffed goat she was excited to find. (teddy bears are over-rated according to my little goat-raising farm gal).


The cool thing that we found out this year with this project is that you can make your $7 donation (to cover shipping) online directly on their site and you are able to print out a bar-code label to attach to your box. Then you can actually track the destination of your gift, along with information about Operation Christmas Child in that country. How cool is that?


What a simple way for you to demonstrate God's love in a tangible way to even just one of His children.

So whatcha waiting for!?!?! Visit the Operation Christmas Child site, check out all the info then have fun filling up a shoebox with simple items such as toiletries, small toys, and school supplies! I encourage you to include your children as well. What a beautiful way to teach them and others about the importance of taking care of the less fortunate. Knowing you are making a difference in a child's life is a priceless gift to give this Season.



The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' ~Matthew 25:40



Peace and love~

*~Michelle~*

Are you putting your faith into action?

Time for me to have and share a pep-rally......

"we gotta stop asking for relief.......and start showing some belief"

Ouch.Guilty as charged.

So, Benjamin Franklin once said "God helps those who help themselves".

Now although the majority of what we learn in the Bible about God helping the helpless..... I do believe that we, as Christians can fall into the trap of inactivity. We are taught that God will provide according to His timing, but this should not stop us from getting off our keesters (to keep this a PG-rated blog) and believing His Promise, trusting His Word and putting our faith into action.

Sometimes being a Christian isn’t always easy. Sometimes we have to roll-up our sleeves and do the challenging work of following Christ, and stay obedient to God’s Word..... even when we don’t want to or it seems to difficult.

This also applies to our daily living. For example... like many of us....financially, things are stretched super tight around here. My part-time job of doing hairdressing is not cutting it.

(no pun intended, but can I get a ba-dum-dum *cymbal??)

*crickets chirping*

OK, lame.....anyway.

I trust and believe that God will always provide for us.....as He has always done. Even when the numbers do not jive.....supernaturally, we end up having just enough money each week, even if our balance is 2.97 right before the next direct deposit is coming in.

But I am growing tired of treading water.....feeling the waters rise, bobbing up to the surface for a few days....only to feel pulled under when the next bill shows up or an unexpected repair comes about. Bottom line......I am looking for an additional job. So I can pray and ask God to help me find one and while it is in His power to do so, it is highly unlikely that God will cause employers to come looking for me. I must get up and out, hit the pavement.... and look for one. I will set out trusting that there will be a job for me. I will not give up, I trust God.....but it is going to require alot of effort on my part as well.

In our lives, we will come across winding paths of uncertainties, setbacks and signs that read, “Road Closed.” However, these are not dead ends, but merely detours as we move toward our destined purpose. We need to keep the faith, take these potholes in stride, and move ahead boldly. We cannot let challenges discourage us.

The New Living Translation of Romans 12:11-12 tells us " Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

This message can also be applied to our spiritual connection with Christ. Sometimes I feel so distant and I long to feel Christ beside me (even though I know He is always there.....) That same passage in the New International Version reads "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

The word "fervor" literally means "to be hot, boil or glow." There is metaphor of boiling water and our spiritual life. The idea is that there must always be a stirring up or a heating up in our spiritual life as we pray and serve. We need to keep it that way. In order to keep water boiling we have to keep it on a flame. We need to constantly work and tend to that fire. That takes effort.....it takes action on our part.



I'll wrap it up with this story, you've probably heard it before, but I'll share it anyway.....

It's the one about the preacher in the flood. The water was up to the top of the church steps when a National Guard truck came by. "Get in, Preacher! The water's rising."

And the preacher said, "No. I trust in the Lord."

The water rose and flooded the church. The preacher climbed up on the roof. Two boys came by in a John boat.

"Get in, Preacher! The water's rising."

And the preacher said, "No. I trust in the Lord."

The water rose higher, and the preacher climbed up on the steeple. A helicopter came by and dropped a sling.

"Grab the sling, Preacher! The water's rising."

And the preacher said, "No. I trust in the Lord."

The water rose even higher, and the preacher drowned. In heaven, he said, "Lord, I had such trust in you. Why did you let me drown?"

And the Lord said, "Dummy! I sent you a deuce-and-a-half, a john boat and a helicopter!!"


The meaning of this is that the Lord helps us by giving us the means to help ourselves. And He expects us to do that.


So I ask myself.....and possibly you can ask yourself.....Do you feel that God is ignoring your prayers/requests? Or could it be that He is stalling so that we will stop acting helpless and put our faith into action?


Peace~

*~Michelle~*

Word of God Speak

(*please pause my music player)

"I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay........"

Word of God Speak {Mercy Me}

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say


Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice


I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay


****************************

As I remain in His place, I hope this find you all smiling and well.......

*~Michelle~*