May I please you, please?

Are you a people pleaser? Do you struggle (as I do) by taking it to an unhealthy level? May I please ask you a few questions that you can ask yourself to see if you are joining me in that same destructive direction?


Do you have a hard time saying "no" to people in general?

Do you take on responsibilities that you really do not want to do/have no time to do and then, in turn, harbor resentment? Do you take these responsibilities on out of desire.....or duty?

Do you take responsibility for others moods and/or happiness? And then, does the onslaught of guilt come upon you when they are not happy or content?

Do you constantly need the approval of others? So much so that it affects your choices and decisions?

Do people sometimes take advantage of you when they know you are overly-giving in the physical sense as well as emotional?

Do you constantly sacrifice your own legitimate needs when you are constantly pleasing others and tending to their needs? Does it leave you feeling empty, frustrated and depressed?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, my friends.......I think it is a warning sign that you might be a people-pleaser.....otherwise known as an approval junkie.

Now I am not saying that serving others is not what God calls us to do. But rather, we just cannot turn our actions/motives into an idolatrous concern for what others think of us instead of what God thinks of us. Does that make sense? It can be very confusing as we have read the verses and learned the stories......"Jesus came not to be served, but to serve and give His life for many." But who's servant are we?

I guess what I am starting to learn as I have been praying about this.....is that we are to serve others...... not out of a sense of legalistic obligation, but out of love. When we seek to serve God first.....pleasing others will just follow naturally.

Another side effect of being an approval junkie is the disappointment that is sure to come when we are dependent on others appreciation (or lack of) when we set out to seek their approval. It becomes an obsession and ultimately a downward spiral in bitterness, depression and a feeling of hopelessness.

We have to realize that we cannot please everyone all the time. Not everyone is going to like us, no matter what we do or say. It is human nature to seek the approval of others......we want to be liked, don't we?! And sure it stings when we are rejected......and it will affect us......but we must not let it direct us.

We also need to keep ourselves in check when we go on these approval seeking binges. We need to remember that we cannot give people the right to dictate who we are.......that is God's job. It is a slippery slope of idolatry in a sense when we give people that power. We start to take our focus off of pleasing God when we are chasing the approval of the world. Others' approval becomes more of a priority than God's approval. Is it because we take for granted that God loves us unconditionally, therefore we slack in putting Him and His approval first?

Ouch.


So how about you? Are you an approval junkie? How do you handle it when it takes you to an unhealthyholy level?

I want to share something I heard this weekend as I have been praying about this and it came as such a timely manner (God's good like that). Maybe if you suffer from people-pleasing-itis you might want to write this down and tape it to your bathroom mirror, desk or the dashboard in your car.

God doesn't love us because we are valuable....
....we are valuable because God loves us.

I think when we truly know and believe our worth in God's eyes.....the bondage of pleasing people will be broken off....and we can and will be set free!

Have a great week, my friends.......

Peace~

*~Michelle~*